Hi! I'm Ashley, and I'm new here!
I'm a 42 year old lady who recently started coming out to the world as the woman I have always been inside.
So far, my friends and coworkers have been very supportive, although not everyone at work knows quite yet. Fortunately, my workplace is very committed to DEI efforts and there are at least two other prominent people in other departments who are transgender.
My family is not as comfortable with the idea, which is where I'm struggling the most. Although I'm completely independent from them, we live close by, and we've always had a close relationship in the past. That being said, they are traditional and have traditional dreams for me. I want to continue to have a positive relationship with them, but also want to be accepted.
I have yet to start HRT or undergo any gender affirming procedures, but hope to start this fall with both HRT and permanent facial hair removal. The wait list for an HRT appointment is a bit longer than usual now that the pandemic is finally over.
Anyway, I'm hoping I can be supportive of other MTF member of this site who are just coming out. I'm always interested in fashion advice, safety tips, and social activities for transgender women in my area.
Welcome Ashley!
I have just one tip....if the facial electrolysis (don't bother with laser) is too painful, Find a sympathetic dentist who will numb your mouth and muzzle on the way there. If it's done right, you won't feel a thing, the electrologist can boost the burn, and get rid of the hair faster. Go at least once every 6 weeks and don't skip appointments. When your face is done, the other body parts can be done once every 8 weeks. The less shaving you can do, the better.
Best wishes!
Welcome Ashley,
Well done. I am 62 years old and I am also coming out now. I should have done it a long time ago because I notice that everyone, including at work, supports me. Even my wife, who at first didn't want to see me anymore and wanted to forbid all contact with the family, had already turned 360 degrees after a day. Now we are getting divorced and living separately but she agrees it is just to develop my style as a woman and she wants to accept me back once we are both ready to accept each other as we are. This way I can actually start living like the woman I always was.
Kind regards
Frederique
Thank you for your kind words, Frederica! I'm happy to hear that your wife is coming around to accepting you as the woman you truly are.
Ashley:
It’s always great to have new members join us and I hope that you take full advantage of the wealth of experience that the members here possess.
Finding community is always an important thing for trans folks as it is very easy to feel isolated, regardless of our actual circumstances. Fortunately the eastern part of the country is fairly dense in terms of population, so that will increase your chances of finding community.
When you do your online searches, cast a broad net to include more metropolitan areas that may be a bit further from you. During the pandemic, LGBT centers started doing social and support groups online. Some, including our center in Palm Springs, have continued the practice. My once a week women’s chat group has call ins from Seattle, Las Vegas, Nebraska and the LA area, as well as local folks. The ones from outside of the area have a second home here, vacation here with some frequency, considering relocating here after retirement, come for Pride weekend here in November, etc. Basically they want to maintain contact with the women’s community here. So, the group continues as an online entity. You may find organizations near you with the same mindset.
You may search our Member Directory to look for other members in your area. Click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
There are some books that I would suggest:
Brynn Tannehill:
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Trans (But Were Afraid to Ask)
Stephanie Battaglino:
Reflections From Both Sides of the Glass Ceiling: Finding My True Self in Corporate America
I’ve read both of these and they contain a wealth of information. Tannehill discusses various aspects of the trans community, the origins, strategies and politics of the anti-transgender movement, the weak science behind the views of the anti-transgender movement, etc.
Battaglino discusses her convoluted path to eventually understanding her gender identity, transitioning in place at New York Life and her subsequent activism work. This book may have particular value for you as it appears that you may be headed towards transitioning in place.
Hello Ashley,
Welcome to our TransGender Heaven (TGH) site: A Transgender Support Site. We are a wonderful, accepting, loving, helpful community where you can be safe and be yourself.
You can read about the knowledge and experiances of others on a similar path by reading articles and in the forums and chatting in chat rooms.
My hope is that you will become comfortable here and make many new friends.
Glad you are here. Looking forward to seeing you on the site.
Terri Anne, Ambassador
============ TGH MtF ChatRoom ============================
https://transgenderheaven.com/chat/mtf-transgender-chat/
=========== TGH How-to Navigation ============================
https://transgenderheaven.com/forums/topic/member-howto-for-navigating-the-tgh-website/
Hi DeeAnn, thank you so much for all of your recommendations. I enjoy reading, and will definitely check out both of the books that you mentioned.
Also, I really appreciate your advice about how to make use of the member directory. Fortunately, there seem to be a good number of members near me, but I'm certainly open to joining online groups as well. (Regrettably, I've never been to the Palm Springs area.)
Hi Terri Anne, thank you so much for welcoming me here! I'll definitely look forward to joining some chats soon, and will certainly find the "how to navigate" guide quite helpful.
