The first time I put panties on as a boy,Β I was thrilled. I looked pretty. I felt pretty. But boys don't do that. Not in the heavily church influenced childhood I had. I loved to entertain people. I liked having fun and doing accents and pretending. I've always had a skinny frame. Even after puberty, when the body hair shot out everywhere, I never pictured myself having muscles or a beard. I was always better at doing laundry, dishes and learning to sew than yardwork or hunting. I later discovered transgender porn and always had that in the back of my mind thoughout high school and 6 years in the military. I thought I wanted to be manly. I hated myself for not being normal, sometimes I still do. Of everything I've done, I think I'm the most proud of looking myself in the mirror and accepting who I am. I don't need to be who anyone wants me to be other than myself. And part of me, is Matilda. I'm so excited to let her help me find real balance and happiness in my life.
Sorry my rant is all over the place. Had some time to write things down this morning and it felt good to vent. If someone had told me ask this year's ago, I feel like I could've been a better person a lot earlier in my life. I hope I'm not too overdramatic or tooting my own horn too much, but I'd much rather be proud of myself than be depressed and have dark thoughts like I used to. I can't wait to talk to and grow with everyone I can.
Have a good Friday and a great weekend everyone,
Matilda Kennedy
Wonderful Matilda!Β Accepting yourself can be the hardest step and as new aspects of yourself get revealed you get to revel in them.Β Expressing yourself is part of that.Β People find various ways to do that.Β Through art or writings or their work or family or supporting others and advocacy.Β There is so much promise, but like most of life it comes with hard work and perseverance.Β Β You have a great weekend hun and we'll see you around.
Hugs, Ambassador Cloe
That is awesome, MatildaΒ πΒ I can relate.
Stephanie xo
