Hi everyone. My wife, Allie Wenzel, has joined our community here. I would like to take a moment to clarify a few things. I have said some mean and hurtful things about her and her family. I would like to apologise and clarify that they have only been looking out for the best interests of everyone involved. She has said and done things that I don't like, I have said and done things that she doesn't like. It has pushed us both to our wits end and we are both depressed and miserable and want to move forward with our lives. So I apologise for what I have said in the past. My wife is a beautiful, intelligent woman who only wants what's best for her family. I'm sorry for going off on her for that, I'm sorry for not standing up for her when doing so got negative backlash. Please be kind to her and welcome her as you have welcomed me.
Hi Allie and Tory
Welcome to TGH. I hope you too will find what you need to find. As for myself I do not understand your situation? It sounds like you Tory want to be a woman which leave your wife either chop meat or a lesbian and is she ok with this? What is your lifestyle going to be?
I would really like to hear Allie side of the story and how she sees her future with you? I lost my Wife to Cancer before I realize I might be T. She knew I was a crossdresser and was ok for the most part with that. So I really have no bases on how it will work for you.
Please dorp me a line and explain how this is going to work.
Love You Both,
Vicki E.
<p style="text-align: left;">Thanks Vicki, and I'm sorry for your lost. And yes, these are all questions we have had to face. Sadly I have faced gender issues for many years which I looked at from the wrong direction and chose to suppress them and seek to have a family. Unfortunately my life has been a blur of addiction and depression and I have not lived up to the responsibilities of being a good husband and father. It was a few months ago that I learned of what gender dysphoria was and began actively dealing with it. Unfortunately while a part of me has always wanted this and I know it, Allie is not so willing to accept it. No, she does not feel she can accept being a lesbian and doesn't like when I let my feminine side out. I've told her I will always love her regardless of who I am, but she is not sure. Right now, I am in counseling and exploring myself and am trying to turn myself around. We've also run into some complications regarding our kids, so I'm trying to back off a little for their sake.</p>
But to sum things up, there's a lot to go through and a lot of hard feelings and a lot of hard decisions made.
Hi Tory
Man Oh Man you have a Big bowl crap to deal with. If you have an alcohol problem go to
AA and work the program. It works if you work it. I know, I have been Sober 37 years.
Stay in counseling and get Allie involved with that also. As I said you are in the right place for help. I'm sure there are others that may have better advice than me, so listen to what is said and use what you can use. Just remember, you have a rough road to haul, but drugs and booze will not ever help you.
Love,
Vicki E.
Sorry...I forgot to clarify that my addiction is not to substances, but to video games and my smart phone. A much less acknowledged type of addiction, but still very real. And problematic when your main source of support is talking to people online.
😞 Sorry to hear about the situation Tory & Allie. My heart goes out to you both. I know or at least can relate to some of the troubles you both are having. Allie if you are reading this my heart 😥 breaks extra hard for you. The support for a crazy spouse can be hard to find and you most likely did not sign up for all this... Tory... I am glad you are seeking help, and I hope your dysphoria is mild, life takes many turns and the Gender turn can be very very hard. If you can, hug your SO a bunch you will need her more then you know. I suggest you both read Helen Boyd’s two books, but get ready to cry. My 1st set actually got tossed in the fire in burned in a fit of emotions. At least Helen got paid twice for the info. The old Men are from Mars and Women are form Venus, I found useful as well, but not a tear jerker.
Good luck and many many blessing to you and your family.
Miriya
