Struggling with my identity trying to learn about myself
From what you just wrote to me, I would very much encourage you to watch Dr. Z, PhD on Utube. With what you feel, and the fears you have, I believe what she has recorded will do a lot for you. I haven't become a subscriber to her site, so I don't listen to her new posts, but many of her past posts have been helpful. I wish you all the best, and feel free to write to me again. I'm now 2+ years on estrogen and almost seven months post vaginoplasty. I needed to get through many of the concerns you have to get to the wonderful place I am now. But each of us is unique, so I do not urge you to go looking for any templates to follow. Listening to the experiences of others and the counsel of those trained in the subject will be very helpful to you.
Thank you so much for recommending DrZ.
I’ve been watching her videos since you told me about her, and wow, I never felt so wonderful, she has explained so much, like the one I just watch was the VR chat video, I have been recently playing as a woman on vr video games with others, but I keep my mic muted, cause I am embarrassed. I am so glad I came to this website, which I didn’t understand why I did till DrZ mentioned “egg cracked”, how this can start from childhood. I have felt depressed in the past but not severely, but this had made me feel relieved. I found that I do over compensate for my masculine form, I have always done jobs where I have a high risk of getting hurt some I won’t say, 1 was working at a prison, which did not help, the stress of getting assaulted was always there. I never had an outlet socially for this, and now it’s opened so much, I thought I would be worried, which I don’t think it has hit me yet, I know I need to see a therapist, but at the moment I am just going to take it slow. I love how y’all responded to me so quickly and were understanding, and used my chosen name, it felt awesome to read it, thank you so much! I have the urge to yell out I am a woman. Today I just feel awesome.
I'm feeling wonderful for you.
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Ok Harmony, first things first lots of familiar stuff there. Also use paragraphs. The wall o text thing is hard to read. I did it too. You just want to say it all at once. We get it.
We've been there.
One of the problems is the doubt. Even when I finally accepted myself as trans it took a while to accept I'm a woman. When I finally did I found a peace. Even now there's doubt.
Don't doubt yourself. You are a woman. I finally accepted that about myself and now I find it impossible to see myself as male.
Just be you. Ignore the clothes thing by the way. Women can wear anything.
I used to say to myself. I wish I was a woman.
But one day I realised. I am a woman. Not physically, not biologically like the bigots like to point out smugly.
I'm just an ordinary woman like you.
Born with a P, tragically.