Hi everyone my name is Tracy, however i think I am supposed to be Traci! I am 57 years old and married, i did 20 years in the Army as a combat Engineer, i have 5 children, was an avid sports junkie, playing hockey, basketball, volleyball, climbing, TaeKwon Do and all my life i have felt something is not right. Who am I? Recently or at least recently i have admitted to myself, I was meant to be Traci. I have read so much over the last year about gender dysforia and enough that i finally went to a clinic and scheduled my HRT appointment. My stress has practically vanished over who I really am. But now i need to find out who I will be in the coming years. Of course, there are obstacles before then. How do I bring up my descision to my spouse? How do I learn to dress, act, talk as a female. All things i know alot of you have gone through already, but at some point you were right where i am now. Any help?
Welcome to TGH Traci!Β Baby steps, slow and careful baby steps is the mantra for coming out to a spouse.Β There doesn't seem to be any consensus formula for making it work, but the common theme has been slow and steady.Β In many cases the process has been glacially slow.Β You need to prepare yourself for that possibility.Β Your spouse is about to transition too if you are and they aren't on board yet.Β Don't mistake and trans acceptance they mayΒ have voiced as being acceptance for this change in their own life.Β You don't mention seeing a therapist, but you really need to be working with one to help you through this.Β We're here to be your virtual peer support group, so if you just need an understanding heart to lean on or someone to ask their experience on a particular issue just reach out any time.
Hugs,
Ambassador Cloe.
Thank you Cloe, I understand what your saying. My spouse and I are more or less together as co inhabitants the last few years. I am bi and was when we met, she knew that. She has told me before, embrace that lifestyle as, meaning gay since thats what she believes. So she definitely doesnt understand, but the one thing she did unintenionally tell me is that you have to be happy with who you are. I am happy with my choice to transition, i will ease into it with her as I owe her that much. Whether it results in us separating or divorce, or staying together. I know its the right choice for me as a person. I am not looking for acceptance, choosing this journey. Only happiness in my own life, and realize the only person I have to achieve acceptance from is myself. I am not big on therapists, but think i may seek one out, more to have someone to talk to and tell them my thoughts and express myself. Thanks Traci
