Notifications
Clear all

Getting Connected With The Trans Community...

31 Posts
9 Users
0 Reactions
1,965 Views
Posts: 29
Member
(@bobbieenfemme)
Eminent Member     United States of America, New Jersey, Neptune
Joined: 2 years ago

Barb, I'm not surprised that most of the trans women attending the LGBT event were not dressed as you and I like them too.  I believe it is an age perspective.  You and I grew up in a time when women wore dresses or skirts and blouses with heels and all the appropriate lingerie.  Now there is no dress code; no matter what one looks like, she is accepted as trans because she says so.  I believe that is why so many of us have a problem with birth males in traditional women's spaces.  Nothing needs to be proven.

BTW, as I write this, relaxing in my home, I'm wearing a panty, garter belt, stockings, bra, camisole, half slip, skirt and blouse, pearl necklace, ear rings, bracelet, and make up.  Most of my lingerie is lacy and silky.  I feel so much like the woman I want to be.

Reply
Posts: 87
Member
(@misstranslation)
Trusted Member     United States of America, California, Granada Hills
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi!  I have only been transitioning since July, so still somewhat self-absorbed in getting my personal act together and having the new "me" solidify relationships with friends and family.  But I have begun reaching out.  Apart from joining the SoCal group here at TGH, I recently signed up in the "Trans Lounge" group which is part of the Los Angeles LGBT Center.  I have not yet had the opportunity to take part in any in-person events offered by the Lounge, but have attended one event by phone (because for some $#@% reason, I couldn't establish an audio connection via their Zoom link).   I have become quite comfortable in dealing with the world at large as a woman, which is probably a good thing since I have been legally female for several months. But I definitely look forward to sharing experiences with other trans women, maybe help each other negotiate the minefields that society sometimes seems to want to lay in our path.  Cheers!

Reply
Posts: 53
Chat Crew
(@marianne65)
Trusted Member     Sweden, Sweden
Joined: 7 years ago

I have wished to get in contact with other trans people in my city and surroundings for many years but only recently have I made any real progress. There are several reasons for this.

Opportunity

I am not much of an outgoing person and never have been. Spending most of my time between work and family I don't hang at bars, go to sports events, visit rock concerts or take part in any other activities there you meet alot of people with different backgrounds and life situations. Also, being close to 60 years old I wasn't even aware there was a trans community for more than half my life, and in Sweden there probably was none to find outside Stockholm and Gothenburg.

Visibility

With a few exeptions the exposure of trans people in Sweden has been very limited until recently, and even more so the community at large. The media coverage has been merely restricted to the odd cases there a business executive or some other publicly well-known person has come out as a crossdresser or made the gender switch.

In recent years a growing movement has united in an association named Transammans (Trans-[to]gether), forming local groups in most major Swedish cities including Uppsala where I live. I am now a member of the group snd have been on two meetings, but with all the other members being either college students or parents to trans kids I find it hard to really connect and have a meaningful discussion to help with my situation and needs.

Reply
Posts: 1840
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

All:

I am really pleased to see the responses to my question. It is a real Feel Good Moment for me. Clearly, the responses are varied, and that is to be expected. I think an important thing to remember is that it is a Work In Progress. Things my not be where we would like them now, but with time and perhaps a bit of help from us, things will improve. Plus, I think it is always helpful to be around others with whom we share a degree of common interests. Whenever we see others from the community, it is a reminder that there are others like us and they are living and doing the best that they can. This goes a long way toward counteracting the BS that gets throw at us.

Reply
Posts: 29
Member
(@bobbieenfemme)
Eminent Member     United States of America, New Jersey, Neptune
Joined: 2 years ago

My experience with the Trans community after 1 year of accepting who I am has been a mix of good, disappointing, and frustrating.

I am frustrated by the lack of support groups or clubs in my area of NJ.  I need to drive at least an hour to make physical contact with another.

I really appreciate the fact that I can easily find kindred souls here at TGH.  I've met one t-woman on here and followed it up with a lunch date.  We also have a date for dinner this week.

I am disappointed by the relationships that appear to flourish with multiple exchanged messages that get personal, only to have the relationship wither and die without notice or explanation.  A little common courtesy is appropriate - something as simple as "I don't want to be your friend" or "I don't want to continue messaging you" goes a long way.  That way I will stop wondering about your well-being.

Reply
Posts: 1840
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Bobbi:

I suspect that many others have a similar range of experiences with the community. I think part of it is due to the very broad range of life experiences. Folks range from doing quite well to just barely hanging on. I think most understand the benefits of being connected to the community, but may have essentially nothing left over in the way of time, energy or financial resources. Consequently, participation is minimal at best and non-existent for many.

I see that you live in a relatively small town and are surrounded by other small towns. COVID forced many LGBT centers to implement at least some of their support group and social programming online via ZOOM and other similar programs. Obviously it isn't a substitute for 1/1 conversation, but it can reinforce the idea that we are not alone and help get connected with others.

For example:

https://www.sagahatboro.com/event-details/online-trans-non-binary-support-group

Reply
Posts: 82
 Barb
Member
(@barbwire)
Trusted Member     Canada, Ontario
Joined: 3 years ago

Hi Bobbie!

I first had to drive at least an hour like you to meet girls like me until I realized there was a vibrant group (many, actually) right around my corner. Now my drive is 20 minutes max.

DeeAnn makes a good point about Zoom meetings. We started getting together in person only in the last few of months, but oftentimes the Zooms continue for others farther away who can't make the in-person meeting. It's kinda the "new normal" these days.

The other thing I realized is that the Trans community didn't really have anything all to their own, at least not where I live. So, I hopped on the larger Pride community and found many girls there!!

Good luck!

:Barb

Reply
Posts: 1840
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Agreed. Said another way, we have to go in search of others. “If You Build It, They Will Come” only works in the movies…

Reply
Page 2 / 4

©2025 Transgender Heaven | Privacy | Terms of Service | Contact Vanessa

Login to Transgender Heaven

Log in with your credentials

Forgot your details?