There is scientific evidence that there is a physical connection to all of this including detailed MRI imaging that shows brain similarities between transgender and cis people of the same identified gender. How things connect is an entire field of study of its own. We won't solve it here. There are so many possibilities as to how this comes about and science is really just scratching the surface, but it's there.
Deanna, you are asking the hard questions that almost no one and maybe no one has the answers to them. Part of the issue with understanding where gender resides is that it is a spectrum, and no two people are the same you can only draw generalizations of similarity. You can speculate that it is physically in the big toe, but why are there transgender people who have no toes? Same for any of the physical parts of the body. Cant possibly be in the sex organs for the same reason. What about the mind? Well I have never seen a study where the mind is slowly cut up physically or otherwise on a control group of transgender people in hopes to figure it out. However there were crazy people who drilled holes in their heads to cure insanity in the past. This of course only leads to destroying the brain and in many cases cured nothing and in cases they said worked really just left blithering idiots who really weren’t there any more. My personal thoughts if there is a physical component it is in the DNA in some sequence of code, however I also put great stock in Karma and the Soul as well. They might even have directed the DNA in the 1st place.
In either case or in the current medical world, gender can not be cured with any method known, it is like trying to cure a rat from being a rat, it can not be done. However if the rat was born without a tail this can be fixed. So if a man was born with breasts and a vagina, he can be fixed, same goes for a woman born with a penis. But as stated gender is not so black and white, can you be half a man? Or half a woman? 34% of one? And if you are, will doing body modification fix any dysphoria associated with this gender desolation with ones physical self? In many cases it can, as this has been proven, and a few it can not.
How society views this whole thing is a completely different ball of wax.
Miriya
💋💋💋
Ps. Maybe I do live 100 miles away, it does not mean I am even close to being right.
PPs. You were such cute little kid. 💕
I guess until your journey is that of those seeking to make a change such as this then as a casual observer you can never understand the compulsion. Its like the marathon runners or mountaineers, their motives and reasons are their own and for non runners or climbers foreign.
Just as a Trans person may look at CDs and ask why not go further.
Food for thought and a provocative piece for sure.
SD.
Interesting side note to the real life Gerda Wegener, they glazed over this in the movie but she drank her self to death 9 years after Lili died in fits of depression. She tried but failed to marry again and moved far from where the horror took place.
Also interesting is that Lili here self was 49 at the end and she and Gerda had been married for 26 years, before they got annulled.
Miriya
💋💋💋
Dasia, Hey sis, you have echoed my dysphoria to a T. For me everything to do with being a woman is not about hating my genitals. It’s more about being the person I know I truly am. Puberty was traumatic for me just because I grew hair where I knew I shouldn’t have hair. I loved playing football in Jr High and High School but the locker room was disgusting, so smelly I wanted to vomit, big hairy muscled beasts with so much testosterone that the air was electric with the ozone after a lightning strike! If it weren’t for the fear of reprisals I would have left the team. I hung out with the girls. I preferred their company more than the guys and my comfort level teasing underclassmen was zero. Soft heart, cry when sad or hurt, concern for wild and domesticated animals when they are hurt, compassion for everyone and most of all I wanted to go to pajama parties with the girls. I felt so out of place. I ended up in the military which modified my outward behaviors and put my inner self on hold.
Yesterday my wife and I went to a salon an hour from home so I could buy a wig. This was her idea and I was floored because she supported me as her husband but not as much for Danielle. I picked out my perfect wig. I wore the wig home and loved the experience. Once home I took a long appreciative look in the mirror. The makeup my wife had done on me before we left was perfect. It made me look feminine and beautiful. With the wig on I recognized this woman staring back at me. It was I who looked out! My face and body just relaxed visibly and the joy was overwhelming. I cried such tears of joy as I had not done in decades. One more item to throw into this is the fact that this past Tuesday we had a serious talk. We don’t know if we will end in divorce but if we do we will remain friends and I can choose a doctor and start HRT. Our counselor suggested a few doctors to look at. I look forward to the future with open eyes and a joyful heart. Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗 to all of my sisters who have walked this path before me. Gender Dysphoria is not a concrete set of nomenclature with specific requirements to be met but a general overall feeling. The level of the feeling can be so distressing that if not found and treated suicide is an option. If you are considering this as your only option please seek help immediately.
Danielle 💋👠
I was reading an article from someone reporting to be a clinician that transition for euphoria is just as valid as for dysphoria. I'll be honest and say that coming out and being able to express myself was euphoric. I get it with the pink fog thinking analogy, but I had dealt with all the negatives years before. What was to ground me then. I do experience dysphoria from time to time as the battle to be me in day to day living continues to rage (you know the setbacks I've had), but it is the positive that propels me forward. It's the knowing how amazing life can be when experienced in truth. I truly was a shell, but am now the woman I had hidden and I know I need to be happy to keep this fight up.
I saw the movie shortly after it was released and it was a sad experience. I think I mostly felt that way because I knew that it did not turn out well.
However, what struck me was the intense desire Lili had to reconcile her body with her mind. Given that the technology was essentially nonexistent at the time, she knew that she was facing extraordinary risks, but she felt she had to do it. As I understand, only about 30% of trans population has confirmation surgery. If everyone faced the same risks today that Lili faced, I would expect that the numbers would be much lower.
As a concept, I always though the gender dysphoria was fairly straightforward. It is anxiety driven by when our bodies do not match our mental vision of ourselves. In a broader sense, perhaps some of us deal with ambiguity, or mismatch, better than others. Hard to say.
For me, I identify as transgender and non-binary. Either I do not have dysphoria or is quiet enough in the background to not need attention. But, eventually I came to the realization that my gender identity is not completely male nor completely female. It incorporates elements of both and looking back over my life, it seems to have always been the case. I just chose to ignore or suppress it. While I have essentially transitioned socially, I have no plans to do HRT or surgeries.
I consider myself fortunate that I do not have dysphoria. If I did, I would have to decide either what to do about it or figure out how to live with it. Neither choice is easy and as I said elsewhere, everything that we do, or do not do, has consequences...
Hi Deanna,
I know this thread is a bit older and I'm quite sure I cannot say anything to help you to understand a persons need to transition. And, I too saw the movie and read a story about Lili Elbi, a very sad story and she was not the only person to suffer like that. There are several stories, (not all that devastating), from that time period.
I understand that your unable to understand my need to transition. Your a self admitted crossdresser, you enjoy wearing womans clothing for whatever reason. I don't consider myself a crossdresser, I get no thrills, no elation, no sexual stimulation by wearing womans clothing. I wear womans clothing, because I am a girl "soul" living in a boys body and have known it from childhood. I like womans clothing more than mens and I am very comfortable wearing them because they feel "right" on my body. I can't understand how a crossdresser can get excited by wearing, let's say, a bra!? I hate wearing bras and see them as a necessaty although I like cute ones. But who am I to question or pass judgement on another human being.
Gender "Dysphoria"....I have suffered from it all my life and my condition was mis-diagnosed as a kid. Personally, I have hated my male genitals all my life and actually, have considered cutting them off myself when I was younger. I believed if I cut it off, the hospital would then give me a vagina. I was born in 1961, and we all know there were no resources, no where for a kid like me to turn and my family DID NOT understand what I was feeling. My depression was so intense I started using heroin by the time I was 17 y/o, and drank heavily. I hated haircuts and would hide from my parents if I knew they were taking me for one, and then cry the whole time in the chair. As I grew older, my father believed all "boys" should learn to box because he did as a young man. He would take me in the backyard and slap and punch me to "toughen me up", but I hated it and would cry. I hated to look in the mirror as I saw a ugly boy instead of a pretty girl. As I grew older anxiety began eating me up inside and I would stay up sometimes for a couple days and pace the house. Eventually, physical work became a release for me and I excelled at my job working 12 to 14 hours everyday, even on weekends. To this day I use work as a means to avoid my inner feelings. Dysphoria is not something that can be easily explained to someone who does not suffer or is familiar with it. When my dysphoria hits me I feel like my whole world is collapsing into a sink hole of despair, multiplied x 100. I cannot function, I sit and cry if I'm lucky, but I am so programmed to not cry, I feel incredible anger instead and I hate myself. I have been hospitalised several times due to suicide attempts during these episodes, as a younger person.
I spent over 50 years covering up, hiding, stuffing away and ignoring my feminine feeling and need to be female, covering it up with a very false male persona I created out of need, to survive in the world I grew up in. All I can say is, when I came across CDH/TGH, my feelings, memories were buried so deeply I consciously forgotten much of my past. The best thing I did was go into therapy with a gender therapist/psychiatrist and after my first session, she agreed that transition was my answer.
I don't expect you to fully comprehend my situation, just like I can't fully understand your need to crossdress. But, as we both travel along on our journeys, there is no reason we cannot support one another. God knows, there are so many other people in this world who won't!!
Happy Holidays!!
Hugs, Breanna
