The thing is I don’t really want to transition! I have fought it for years for a number of reasons!!! The thing is at least for me at least “want” doesn’t have a thing to do with it!!!! I “ want ” my feelings of needing to be Kimmi to go away and they did...... briefly but no longer!!!!! I “ want “ my feelings of panic to go away and for a while they did.......briefly!!
Now my feelings of needing to be me and my feelings of panic grow stronger each day, more insistent each day. For me It is no longer about “ WANT “ it is “MUST “ .
This week in a discussion with someone on line. A “bible Scholar “ told me that the reason I will go to hell when I transition is that God doesn’t look kindly at this elective surgery. When I reach the point of surgeries they will be as life saving as my cancer surgery was 5 years ago.
I feel as though this group for me at least is a life preserver in tears I am thanking all y’all with the deepest gratitude!!❤️
Emotionally and spiritually I have always felt more aligned with women than men. I love the feelings, the clothing, the makeup, the shoes and more importantly the attitudes and behaviors of being a woman. I want the full female experience. I want to participate in female activities I want to be the authentic me. For me transitioning is coming to late. I am 64 so physically transitioning is not practical but I have considered hrt. I want to enjoy my authenticity. This is not about sexuality, this is about being me. I think about living as a woman every day I’m comfortable with the idea and when I am Annie, I am at piece and happy
Hello Folks
I can relate to virtually everything posted here. It took me nearly 40 years to take the plunge and come out as a trans woman. I too had self harmed, attempted suicide many times and felt forced to live with a massive secret.
But no longer. I've been officially Melanie Jane for about 9 months now but have been living as a woman since February 2017.
I can remember staring longingly at women's clothing in department stores, especially lingerie and stockings. I would wonder what it felt like to wear them. Well, now I know: Amazing! Liberating! The Real Me! I don't have to hide anymore and I am no longer shuffling along under a heavy burden of guilt and shame that society was trying to force upon me.
They say that everything has its time and my time has only just begun. My mum is still struggling to accept me as her daughter but the rest of my family are getting on board with it. I have found an accepting church as well so I am happier right now than I have ever been.
Xx from Melanie
Kimi...
God doesn’t care if you are a he or a she so long as you are of good intentions! Bible scholars have very little concept of ‘God’ only of their own feeble prejudices and hatred.
Be of good cheer... I’ll reserve a good spot for you! I’ll probably be there first...
🔥💥🔥☄️⚡️ Polly❤️
If you are struggling with your gender identity and your faith, maybe listen/watch some some talks by Paula Stone Williams on youtube. She has done a couple of Ted talks one on her gender identity with her son Jonathan, and on on her gender identity and sexism. I also saw a video of her at a Christian conference with her son Jonathon discussing her identity and how they both came to terms with it within their faith. They are both Christian pastors.
As a small child, I envied the girls... the pretty dresses they wore, the games they played, how they smelled, how they looked with their long locks in pretty colorful bows.
Being born a GB... those things were off limits to me😢. I was 'told' to wear drab and play boys games. These games, usually were a bit violent and very competitive. I am not a violent, nor competitive person. Never wanted to play sports... just wanted to play with the girls...
As an early teen, again, I envied the girls... with their makeup, beautiful long hair in wonderful styles and designer clothes. The perfume... those beautiful long finger nails with gorgeous nail polish. Oh how I longed to be a girl...
Now here I am, 57 y/o... admiring girls/women of all ages being themselves without ridicule from the general populace. Wearing both traditional feminine clothing... and, more often than not, traditional masculine clothing. Having their cake and eating it also.
I've been secretly wearing feminine clothing on and off since the age of 3. The last few years has been every day. I shy away from being out in public dressed as the woman I am for fear of ridicule from those CMB's.
I truly believe that I'm a Woman in a GB's body. Longing for the correct physical parts.
So you ask 'Why' do we want to Transition??? The answer is simple... to align our physical appearance with our inner Woman. To be at peace with one's self.
Love,
Gen ❤
Hi DeeAnn...
Wow... what you wrote is almost identical to the last paragraph in my post. We are on the same wavelength girl.
Love,
Gen ❤
However, it is important to note that this is not the case for everyone. For me, I have never felt that I was in the wrong body as it wasn’t part of my thinking. If I do have any dysphoria, it is at a near undetectable level.
But, what I finally came to realize is that I have always been this amalgam of male and female energies, perspectives, likes/dislikes and thought processes. I cannot separate them. For me it translates to one persona which is the only one there is.
I have no plans to physically transition, but I have essentially socially transitioned. The only thing left to do would be to change my name legally, but I have little interest in that and very little compelling need. Of all the things I could invest my time and energy in, this is way down the list. I am known as DeeAnn in all of the civic, charitable, political and recreational organizations of which I am a part. I only present as Don under very particular circumstances: taking my car for service, going to get my vaccinations, etc.