Can they really do this?

Min,

I don't think you should commit suicide. It's not a healthy idea. Find a counselor today and start talking this stuff out. Transitioning is possible. Thing is that it's a rough ride. Gotta be ship shape to have a chance at it. I could easily equate it to riding a mechanical bull. It'll try to throw ya. Just when it feels easy it's gonna spin you around and ya might land on your head. Nope, it doesn't stop there, just get basck on and keep going. You are worth everything to yourself and your daughter deserves to have you in her life.

Here's a place to begin your family legal research. Yes, your state could possibly effect your family based on your transition and...maybe not.  https://transgenderlawcenter.org/legal/family-law

Chin up, Min, and may you find your way.

Best,

Dasia

she/her/hers

Min,

You don’t mention anything about the current situation or parenting arrangement. If your parents do not have legal custody of your daughter, and if there is no protection order, prohibiting access to her, they can definitely make it difficult for you, but not prevent you legally from seeing her. That having been said, in a community with strong fundamental religious beliefs, the authorities, (i.e. county attorney, social welfare workers, etc) May be strongly influenced by those with whom they share religious views, and can have an unfair impact on your situation. Some other organizations are:

https://www.lambdalegal.org/know-your-rights/article/trans-immigrants-resources

http://www.nclrights.org/forms/national-lgbt-legal-aid-forum/

My parents have power of attorney.  They are conservative and old fashioned.  They live in Hamilton County Tennessee.  I'm pretty sure that I would have trouble in this.  Much of the surrounding area is inside a Bible belt.  I live in Missouri so I'm not sure if I'd have to go through Tennessee State law or Missouri State law.  I'm fairly certain my case is complicated.  I know suicide isn't the answer but I also know that I'm very unhappy living as a man.  I feel empty and incomplete.  So I think the best course of action is just pretend I'm a man around my folks until my daughter is 18 and out on her own.  At that point I will tell her what I am doing.  At that point it's her choice to stay in my life or not.  If she accepts me that's great if not then I did my best.  In the end my happiness and her well being are the most important to me.

Min, you have an excellent idea here. In the meantime you could get ready to transition maybe even get your hair removal done. I empathize with you. This sounds like a responsible approach.

I can sympathize with you, my in laws threatened to take my kids away if I did not cease my attempts to transition.  My wife and I are together with our kids and my counselor said she had no such power, but it sounds like your case is different.  I am waiting to ask my counselor how to deal with telling my kids, my in laws want me to wait until they are grown but my issues have affected my entire life and I have to do something.

I hope you can find a path that works out for you.  I have not been the best father but it would destroy me to be shut out of my kids' lives.

Well I live in a much more liberal state, but I won full custody of my child even with being in transition. My ex even tried to bring it up during our court case, and the judge told her that meant we were both moms and would be treated as equals in her eyes. I wasn’t out at the time, but it was the reason for our separation years before.

Im not too sure how different things are in Tennessee unfortunately, so it’s really a judgement call on your part. I would keep trying to educate yourself parents as well. You just never know.

Hi Min,

Terrible situation to be in and as a father, feel your pain. I have three daughters. One of 14, 12 and 4. My 14yr old has always known, even before I came out to my wife and loves helping me dress and do makeup. She even had a poll at school to help me choose a name (Still awaiting final outcome) I think we're down to 5 names now. She's a lovely person and very understanding. I recently came out to my 12yr old and that didn't go so well. She thinks I'm disgusting and hasn't spoken to me in a month. My 4yr old thinks its just a game and Dad enjoys dress-up. I also have a 17 soon to be 18 son. I'm terrified of telling him, and so holding off for now. Once he's 18, its not really my problem anymore. If he doesn't like it, he can leave.

Whats the relationship like with your daughter? Do you think she would understand? I've found that when I came out to my eldest daughter, a day of clothes shopping and comparing fashion tastes seemed to help pave the way. I made her feel special and shared my opinion on things whilst listening and respecting hers.

How about getting your daughter on side (maybe) and then if your parents make you stay out of her life for a while, you atleast stand a chance of being able to reappear later on and it will be less of a shock to your daughter. At that time she can make up her own mind if she wants to know you or not. If you were to commit suicide or leave without telling her, she will never know the truth and your reasons not known to her. She would end up blaming you for every miss-step in her life.