So last night I received a (I am sure Drunk) text from the friend who ghosted me after I came out. He was all nice and everything and we chatted like we used to but I couldn't say how much like crap he made me feel when he just dropped off the face of the planet for the past 5 months would not text me back or jump into voice chat play games etc. I've been crying off and on since last night and have not slept. I have watched my feel-good movies twice today and still no luck so maybe some music
What is your cheer-up or feel-good song?
Chaka Khan, "Like Sugar". The dancing in the music video makes me feel good too.
I think it's probably wise not to place too much of your own happiness in the hands of others. Sometimes they can let us down even if they don't mean to. It sounds like your friend is trying to reach out to you and reestablish contact. On some level, that's positive.
For some reason, the gender expression of others matters a lot to some people. I find it confusing, so I can only imagine that it's even more confusing for cisgender people. A lot of how we relate to others involves us playing our respective gender roles as expected and established by society, so when something gender related changes, uncertainty sets in. So, it's a bit of a journey for your friend, too.
Best of luck to you.
Stacy Ann, I agree with you placing happiness in the hands of others is a bad idea, and I reread what I wrote last night and see that I was unclear about what was going on. Yet I think you kind of saw it but I will be clear just in case.
The problem (s) that did not allow me to get my normal four hours of sleep and making me feel depressed is, it has been five months since after coming out to this person and him saying no, no everything is fine this changes nothing and then ghosting. Then out of the blue getting the txt my brain yells at me that I should tell him off for being an ass, my heart says let it go after all he's a good ol' boy maybe he needed some time to deal with everything, and now he's trying to find a way back. Round and round it goes in my head and I obsess over it and scrutinize everything and then before I know it I am in a hole that will require a lot of rope to get out of.
So this was more of an attempt at a distraction something to get me to quit thinking but thank you for calling me on it
Kisses
Hi Halie ,
This has happened to me more then once when I started my transition 20 years ago . My one friend took about 5-6 months to process the info I just laid on him . It was a shock to his system at the time just as much as it was on me . We still talk and hang out when time allows . My other friend is no longer . That friendship ended in a fist fight , but after I revalved that friendship their really wasn't one there to get up set over and do so only cause me to be depressed . True friends will always be there for you even if they don't understand the emotional side , they will support your happiness . In our life time we will have meet over 10,000 people . Out of that only 3 will be your true friends .
I choose to be happy , if people don't want to support me in finding happiness . Then I don't need their negative energy in my life .
If your friend wanted nothing more to do with you , he wouldn't have called even in a drunk state . He is trying to reach out . Give him call and just say what's up , you alright ? And see where the conversation goes from there . If he is still being ass , you'll have your answer .
Alexis
