Hello, I would love so much to start a Youtube channel because I love video filming and editing. I have been watching Vlogs and I really got inspired, and it would enrich my life. But the problem is I am still in the very early stages of transitioning and I feel waves of issues with identity. I am waiting for the doctors to send me a request form and it will take a lot of time.
This means that if I start with Youtube, the viewers will see me as a man. And I also feel, that it is best to use my assigned male name because I don't want to confuse any viewers. But again that may cause gender dysphoria, which is extremely painful and could most likely lead to self confidence issues and that I would put the filming away.
Up until later years I have believed I was a homosexual man, I don't know how common that is, believing one is homosexual before realizing the true gender identity, but people around me
know me as my male name and only 2 friends know the truth. So calling myself as my assigned name can be hard, and cause me emorional trouble.
But I want so much to start a youtube channel badly because I love the thought of being creative and doing vlogs could add a meaning to my life. Does anyone have any idea
on how to deal with the gender dysphoria/depression of using my assigned name in situations where I need to, like for instance in the youtube vlogs? I do not feel like telling the truth on Youtube all in the beginning either.
Miral, that is an interesting project. While I like to watch YouTube, I do not have a channel. I would say watch channels that produce videos similar to the type you would like to do. Watch them in a sort of chronological order to get a feel of how that person did it. Michelle
Miral:
Unless you are going to do facial surgery, I don’t think HRT will make a lot of difference in how you look. On the other hand, having a good makeover and developing your makeup application skills will. Nothing, outside of surgery will change the structure of your face, but with makeup you can selectively allow you to emphasize some features and de-emphasize others...
The trouble is that, while I could go full in and act as a gay guy whom I believed I was before this gender identity came up, it would keep reminding me that I should be whom I am (A woman), but as DeeAnn says, I would look like a man, and this would confuse the viewers. But the thought of using my male name and appear as a man is kind of painful. However, I do so badly want to do those vlogs! Is there anything I could do to address the emotional issues coming up about my actual identity? I am no actor, but one idea would be just using actor skills. How do you think? It is the painful identity issues I encounter, knowing that what is appearing on screen is (Still) a male me.
(And yes I could learn how to do makeup, but that would probably look more like a James Charles or Jefree Star kind of makeup if I do it extensively) As I transition, in years to come later, then I could introduce the viewers, but that is way too early to think about now.
Miral, I do agree with DeeAnn on that. Not looking, sounding, and acting the persona you are trying to portray would be a bit off-putting. I have seen YouTubers that start after they have achieved what they want, and then later show themselves prior to starting. Hope this helps, Michelle
