Question for those who are still early in their transition (i.e. mostly still presenting as male): do you find that you start seeing yourself differently?
I ask because I am basically still living as a male, and am just at the point where I've finally accepted that I am trans and am just taking some baby steps as I figure out the long term plan. But strangely, sometimes I look in the mirror, and it's like I can see the woman there, even if I'm not presenting that way. To be clear, I haven't started HRT.
Is that weird? Or is it a side effect of acceptance? Curious if anyone else has experienced something similar.
That would seen to represent a shift in terms of realization and acceptance. Or said another way, settling into your groove...
<p style="text-align: left;">Hi Alexis, I'm in the same boat. I've just accepted in not a crossdresser with 2 personalities, I'm trans with one.</p>
Yesterday when getting ready for work I was looking into my wardrobe on and thinking what should I wear. I'm recovering from Covid and my lungs are still iffy sometimes, so dicided no bust or hips, a woman's tee, leggings, a skirt and a wig, (ps I love yours) and no make-up as I wasn't feeling well. I have to wear my uniform at work but always change into and out of it there.
I went shopping afterwards. I felt just as feminine without my bust and hips and no make-up. In fact I felt more comfortable dressed androgynously than in drab. I guess it's just my head catching up to my body, but I definitely see more of my feminine features in my currently all male body.
Hi, Alexis. I've enjoyed your article and found your story extremely familiar in many ways. I'm now about 18 months into this grand adventure, and really enjoying the ride. Ahhh, the elusive mirror image....for me, that image was so familiar, greeting me each morning. But oddly unsettling.
About 4 or 5 months ago, that image changed. There I was, long hoped but never present, until that day. The old familiar face and body was absent and there I was. I recall looking for me carefully, evaluating changes in cheeks, chin, skin smoothness and complexion, all the signs I was told about as I began meds. I couldn't really judge fairly. I quit examining myself for several weeks. Then came the day I stepped out of the shower, patted my face and wrapped my hair in a towel, and began to apply my moistureizer. And I was shocked. I stood staring at a new image. My face, arms, upper body, while familiar, was NOT the daily usual. I was staring at Carly. For the first time, I could see who I was without adding a thing. Just me, looking back.
I'm still happy to have that girl in the mirror greet me each morning. That odd, out of place feeling has evaporated, and I grow more and more accustomed to being me. And over time, we are able to incorporate a "New normal" into our roadmap for life. These changes often happen slowly and undetectable in the short run, then BAM...the "New normal" is simply life today. At least, so it happened for me.
I wish you the very best, with an abundance or peace and love in your adventure. You are one in a million, and a bright shining star.
Carly
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Carly. That sounds so amazing, and I can't image what it must feel like to look at yourself in the mirror everyday and feel so pleased with it. I feel like what I'm experiencing is just a glimpse...
exactly the same happened me, I wondered was I delusional. I think it is all part of our minds coming to terms with our authentic selves
I think I'm walking differently too. Not like, swishy, but smaller steps, arms closer to my body, and hands out, that sort of thing. And I'm not doing it intentionally, it's more like I just catch myself doing it unconsciously. Weird...
This was literally my lightbulb moment. In December 2020 I looked in the mirror en-femme and a slightly nervous Catherine smiled back. It took a couple of weeks, but Catherine has been here ever since. I have a long way to go to pass but the important thing is that I’ve taken the first step.
