So I'm 7 months in on HRT & seriously I've gone from being 95% straight to out & out Bi
So I'm wondering did everyone else go through this?
I'm also wondering if this is me with with my libido chemically switched off, what happens in 8 or 9 months time when it fully returns?
& if i'm like this now where the hell is my sexuality going to be in 10+yrs?
(if this has already been discussed, please post links as I couldn't find it thru the search bar).
Also this is a genuine question, so no ick replies please, because in short it's grim.
@delirium What a hot potato! I can only speak from my own experience as I really believe each person's experiences are different. So far I haven't met two trans people who think/feel exactly the same way.
Firstly Dee, there is the, what exactly were you before you started HRT? From my own position, I had denied and hidden much of my true sexuality inside the 'straight' persona I had lived by. It was only when I allowed myself to think the unthinkable that my true sexuality became evident. My sex drive was very strong before but mainly, I have since discovered in a desperate attempt to 'fix' myself. I knew I was bi before, though tried not to be too active. Since 'out' and HRT I moved beyond to demisexual.
Secondly, the libido has dropped to almost 0% which actually is a big relief! It is no longer trying to fix anything. I have had relationships since becoming trans and they have felt very rewarding and the true me.
Now post SRS me libido is still hibernating lol. But I know inside that with the right person, of whatever sex/gender it will be fine. If it never returns...so be it.
In short I've stopped trying to analyse my sexuality and just go with the the flow. There are no 'norms' for us...so don't look for them? You will be whatever you truly are...if you allow yourself that much honesty.
@delirium So, one ask to ask themselves; what actually is sexuality, and what is it that causes an intimate physical attraction between two people? I don't think for a minute that there is some gate to start off with that swings one way if you are predominately masculine, or the other way if you are predominately feminine. I suspect, that the idea of intimate physical attraction is based on your internal chemical makings and on the environment you have existing in since the doctor spanked your bottom in the hospital.
Where will it be in ten years? Well, the same place it has always been; right there inside you. I have come to the mind that the HRT process kind of resets and restarts a sort of clock, that we have to get acquainted with over time. And it may come in fits and starts. That said, while important, I always try to remember, that physical intimacy is just one minor human experience. Hugs
Dee:
One point to remember is that trans people can have any sexuality that cisgender people do.
I absolutely appreciate that, but what I obviously was badly attempting to communicate was the question of how other transgender people experience this phenom.
(During full HRT transition people have 33% of their sexuality changing, even completely reversing).
Which from my experience occurs quickly & can be a bit of roller coaster ride (literally flip flopping multiple times per day), so I questioning how other people have experienced this side effect, which for whatever reason a lot of transgender people don't really talk about.
But it is part of transitioning so it seems a worthwhile topic.
The reason behind what I said is that there are some trans women who assume that they should be attracted to men and then are surprised when they are not. It is just another odd way in which we sometimes manifest the stereotypically rigid sexual orientation mindset.
Super interesting I’m thinking about exploring HRT wondering how I will feel and what side effects it brings Trying to do some research
@mustangtoni As you begin to get a grip on this, please share. The topic comes up periodically and I’ve seen things go in both direction. You may be the first to see if there are any trends.
Good Luck!
Well, I'm a very sexual person. I've noticed a lowering of my libido since going on HRT. And my equipment doesn't work like it used to. But my libido is still very much there. I've made adjustments to how I experience sex. I still sleep with women....CIS and trans. And I've been with a couple of guys. I feel like I'm exploring a whole new world and I love it. I would consider myself pansexual at this point. 10 years ago I was strictly hetero.
/EA
Hi Emily,
I'm also bisexual but I've found that since most women are straight I'm shy to initiate with them (but I'm never shy with men) hence most of my experiences are with men. How have you been meeting women and did you find it got easier or harder to attract women (cis and trans) after transitioning?
Emily! My sincerest apologies for taking almost a year to respond. This is not normal for me in any way at all. I'm so sorry.
Most of my experiences in the last few years have been with trans women. The 1-2 cis women I've been with were bi or lesbian. In almost all cases, I've met these gals in trans/LGBTQ friendly spaces near where I live in SoCal. I spend a lot of time in San Diego's Hillcrest District and Palm Springs. Both areas are great for socializing and meeting new people.
I've been transitioning for almost 3 years. HRT was a huge boost to my confidence. My experience has been that being a happy, outgoing and confident person naturally attracts people. I don't have to try. That's what HRT did for me. It really changed my life.
If I were you, I'd head to trans friendly spaces near you. You're much more likely to find people that you're comfortable talking to.
I have a bit of knowledge of the UK scene. Pink Punters in Milton Keynes is an easy drive from Cambridge. Leeds First Friday is quite a bit further but encompasses an entire city district and attracts huge crowds. Worth the drive, IMO. I plan to visit both places with some girlfriends from CDH when I visit the UK in September and October. PM me if you want to know more.
/LK
Thats interesting. Can I ask, what is your hormone protocol, and do you have lab results on your hormones (free testosterone, progesterone, estradiol and prolactin) before and after by any chance? I'm good friends with my endocrinologist who I'll be meeting on Monday, so I can run your case by him (which he'll find interesting as he's researched the link between sexuality and hormones) and hopefully shed some insight.
And to confirm, you were previously interested in men or women? Thanks.
Also, I'll expand after Monday, but I remember him telling me something about progesterone and bisexuality.
Again, my sincerest apologies for taking so long to respond.
PM me if you still want to discuss hormones. It would be irresponsible of me to post that info on a public forum.
I haven't given much thought to a possible link between HRT and sexuality. I don't doubt there could be one. For me it's irrelevant. I am who I am. HRT made me a complete person. I've never been happier. That's what matters.
As for my sexuality, I'm pansexual but much more attracted to women - cis and trans.
/LK
@emilyalt I don't think based on the posting dates that Emily is actually replying to you.
In response to the query about HRT. I dont believe that HRT directly has a bearing on sexuality. It is my belief that with the introduction of HRT and the loss of all those protective mechanisms we carry around much of our lives that we open up to new possibilities of a sexual nature. There is also, as this too is my personal belief, that the brain when it moves from T driven to E driven goes through a process of remapping. Due to its ability (neuroplastisity) to form new neural pathways the baby transwoman seeks to identify which of these new pathways are dominant or most desirable. I too went though years of reidentifing my sexuality and now see both men and women in a completely different light.
I did consider that Emily wouldn't see my response. Regardless, others may benefit from my experience.
I totally agree that HRT rewires our brains. I noticed a striking improvement in my mental and emotional capacity shortly after I started. Sexually, I'm open to a lot more than I used to be. I don't need to know why. It's just who I am.
There is one thing I failed to mention before. HRT rendered my genitals non-functional, and I very much want working parts. GCS is the answer to that. At some point I anticipate more changes in my sexuality. I'm not sure I can attribute that directly to HRT. But again, it doesn't matter to me.
/LK
