I see transition as it’s literally meaning - changing from one state to another. That’s why, while I will obviously always actually be, in fact, a transwoman — in public and in my mind I live and act fully a woman.
On occasion, I feel pangs of guilt about this — partly because I know I’m one of those who is luckily enough to be able to do that and I don’t take that for granted, and partly because I know there are others who wear their trans identity proudly on their sleeve in every day life. Makes me feel as if I were not doing enough.
But after talking this through for sometime with my therapist and some other trans friends, I have landed here: I think there are some trans folk who see their trans-ness as their defining quality. It makes them feel like they belong, it makes them feel special, it gives them identity. For them, it’s important to share their story with the world. I think that’s wonderful, that simply is not me.
And as for elements of guilt? I have spent more than 50 years not living my joy, not living my authentic life. So now that I am able? I’m allowed to live life on my own terms and not worry, safe in the knowledge that my wife, family and friends all fully support me.
Love,
Frankie
