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Do you think my parents will take me seriously when I come out as trans male

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(@elavatorman)
New Member     United States of America, New York, NYC
Joined: 3 years ago

I’m not sure what goes here this is my first poll

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Posts: 28
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(@stacyannmay)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Georgia, Norcross
Joined: 4 years ago

Most parents think it's a phase when you are very young. Your personality is still forming and the act of relating to yourself (and to others) as an adult is a new experience. In a matter of speaking, they look at you as a person who is still finding their way in the world. If you are going to therapy already, it could be helpful to talk to your therapist first. If you are feeling major dysphoria, you might want to see if there are any youth gender support groups in your area. Most big cities have one. Some meetings are held online. They may help you find a gender therapist to speak to and/or help give you some perspective.

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Posts: 198
(@Anonymous 2388)
Estimable Member
Joined: 5 years ago

No they won't, sorry parents will resist it unless they are super open and even then...

 

Miriya

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Posts: 93
 Lir
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(@inuyasha)
Estimable Member     Canada, Alberta
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi Dragon-guy!

Cool profile picture! Welcome to the forum!

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Posts: 1785
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(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

I have no idea what your parents will think. None of us know them, so there is no way to say one way or the other.

However, think about the coming out process. It is your time to say exactly how things sit for you. I doubt if blurting out “I’m Trans!?!?” will get you to where you need to go.

Instead, think about explaining how you feel in very detailed terms. Is there an event that they know about where you can talk about how you felt or why you reacted the way you did? You have to “Command The Stage”, or also called “Hold The Narrative”. One way to maintain focus on what you are saying is to think very carefully about what you want to say. Perhaps you may make notes or write out what you want to say. But, I do not suggest that you just read what you want to say. It may lead people to thing that you are just spouting something that you read. The thing to do is put some serious and conscious thought into what you need to say. It is also a good idea to try to anticipate questions and be prepared for them. Once you have figured out what you want to say and how you will go about it, try it out on someone who is likely to be supportive. How things will turn out is directly proportional to the effort that you put in. In short, half-assed preparation will insure half-assed results.

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Posts: 162
(@mustangtoni)
Estimable Member     United States of America, Florida, Tampa
Joined: 1 year ago

Welcome I agree with DeeAnn.   Buckle up it could be a bumpy ride

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Posts: 87
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(@ellilynn)
Trusted Member     United States of America, Indiana, Bloomington
Joined: 12 months ago

I am assuming you want an honest answer, not one to make you feel good.  My honest answer is I think your question is irrelevant.  The relevant question is do you take yourself seriously when you say you are trans?  In my 70 years on this planet, two very important things I've learned is (1) Never let anyone else's opinion of you become your reality.  Your reality is you believing in yourself and (2) Blood doesn't make you family, blood just makes you related.  Family is that group of people that believe in you, support your decisions and assist you in obtaining your goals.

I suspect you already know the answer to your question.  Are your parents the type of people that will support you in any decision you make, even if they're uncomfortable with it or don't think it's a good idea or are they the type of people who will judge and question everything you say?  If they're part of the first group, there shouldn't be any issues at all.  If they're part of the 2nd group, I would suggest re-reading what DeeAnn wrote above because there is a lot of good information there.  Do you have friend that you are out to?  Ask them to help you role play and take the devil's advocate side.  Try to think of every possible negative comment that might be said and figure out how you will respond to it.  Like DeeAnn said, you don't want to write an essay.  You probably do want to have some note cards with bullet points on them to help you remember things you want to bring up or potential answers to negative comments and questions.

Also I would suggest thinking a lot about when you first started feeling something wasn't quite right.  How old were you and what was it that make you think you might be somehow different?  I knew by the time I was 6 that I wasn't like all the other male children that were my peers.  I didn't know what the difference was, I just knew I wasn't interested in the boy things and I was interested in the girl things, which wasn't going to happen back then.  This was in 1959 and back then most of the world had never heard of the idea of multiple types of gender identities and they only recognized two different types of sexual attraction, hetero and homo, and if you declared yourself homo you'd end up in a very unpleasant locked psychiatric facility and pumped so full of drugs you couldn't remember your name.  It took me almost 40 years, including 3 working with some very good psychiatrists, a couple more as co-facilitator for 2 different self help groups, and several more years of auditing psyche classes before I had a true understanding of who and what I was.  So if you expect any questions or denials, make a list of every time you thought something was wrong and why, and this might be one of those places where you want to have as many events and details as possible.

Above all else, believe in yourself and control the conversation.  You will have much better luck convincing doubters if you don't show any cracks in your own belief.

Good luck.  I hope all your fears turn out to be unreal fantasy.

Elli

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Posts: 49
(@polly123)
    United States of America, New York, new york
Joined: 8 months ago

I'm not sure if your parents will take you seriously, it all depends on your parents' own opinion. If they are open-minded and love you a lot, then I'm sure they will support you. After all, you are their child, and as long as the child is happy, they will accept it. But if it's the other way around, it's probably a little hard for most parents to accept and takes time to process. I was lucky enough to have parents who loved me very much. I took my boyfriend home to meet my parents the other day and we still had a great time. No matter how your parents treat you, you have to think about whether the consequences are worth it. If you think it's worth it, then just do it. Life is only a few decades, the most important thing is to be happy. Don't leave regrets.

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