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Settling Into Our Lives...

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Posts: 61
Member
(@ellyd22)
Trusted Member     United Kingdom, Norfolk
Joined: 8 months ago

Alex -

Thank you for ... well ... EVERYTHING about this.

Hugs

Ellie x

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Posts: 192
Ambassador
(@reallylauren)
Reputable Member     Canada, British Columbia, Victoria
Joined: 2 years ago

Hi girls,
I am very late to this party, LOL, but I have to let everybody know how things are going.
Many of you are already aware of how my transition has gone as I've made numerous posts about it, but for those who are new to TGH, let me hand you a brief synopsis.

What happened that drove your response?
What surprised you, positively and negatively?
Do you like how your relationship with the trans community is going?
Is the COVID situation playing a role in your transition?
Is the political environment playing a role in your transition.

Things for me have gone so far beyond any expectations, that I often feel it was divinely ordained.
When I knew I had to come out and be true to who I am, a woman, and accept being transgender, I had a job in a government ministry building. What were they going to say? All my life I have been visibly feminine unless I was acting completely in "boy mode", so to say they weren't at all surprised when I told them I was transgender, would be an understatement. When I mentioned wishing to transition, they said, "When?" and provided me with the perfect day to debut as a woman at work, TDOV on March 31st 2022, Transgender Day of Visibility.

My relationship with the trans community is amazing! I am viewed as a spokesperson for trans people, a role model, and an ambassador to the general populace as an example of who and what, a transgender person really is.

Covid hasn't had any effect whatsoever with my transitioning.

Politically, things are very safe for trans people where I live, I am very fortunate to reside in a city that is very receptive to the LGBTQ+ community.

One more major thing to add, in regards to settling into my life, is the fact that on May 25 of this year my life was changed forever. It was the day that a lady doctor informed me that I am an intersex person. After learning lots of things about myself, she placed her hand on my knee and said, "Lauren, you are a woman!"

Hugs girls, BIG hugs,

Ms. Lauren M

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Posts: 1777
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Modern life is difficult enough by itself and our gender identity adds another layer of complexity. Further, it is all uncharted waters, so often it is unclear as to what to expect. And, even though our circumstances may be similar, the outcome varies widely. But, for better of for worse, we are on the path that we need to be on.

But, change is hard and many times the human species does not do well with it. However, there are really only 2 choices. We can be our true selves or live a lie and each has its own set of difficulties. But, it is an equation that each of us must solve for ourselves. No one else can do that for us.

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Posts: 192
Ambassador
(@reallylauren)
Reputable Member     Canada, British Columbia, Victoria
Joined: 2 years ago

Thank you so very much DeeAnn for your words of wisdom, and a voice of calm in the midst of many storms.
You are a blessing to us dear sister.

Hugs,
Lauren M

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Posts: 1777
Ambassador
Topic starter
(@flatlander48)
Noble Member     United States of America, California, Cathedral City
Joined: 5 years ago

Thanks!

In old English, it’s been a long time a’borning. 74 years to be exact. Regarding this life, two things are important to me:

  • Being visible
  • Sharing what I know and have observed

I will be the first one to say that I am, clearly, not always right. But, at the very least, there are data points to be considered. I never want someone to say “I did what you said and it all went to Hell”. Very rarely will I ever say “Do This” because what it does it tends to absolve people of claiming failure. We all must own our successes and our failures, else how would we know to rejoice in our successes and treat our failures as something from which to learn?

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Posts: 21
Member
(@kathy)
Eminent Member     United States of America, Missouri, St. Louis
Joined: 1 year ago

I voted better for several reasons.

Born intersex, and as a teen I had no family support/understanding when I first noticed myself. I was diagnosed with partial androgen insensitivity syndrome (hormone imbalance) at age 18 after developing gynecomastia at age 13 (and other physical issues). I was a closet crossdresser off and on and tried/began to transition when I was 30 but stopped (no local support or internet) and got married instead. I had been a workaholic until I recently retired. Since then I continued my crossdressing until during Covid when my hormone imbalance became more active and I became more depressed. As depression set in and I began to feel more mixed emotions, along with hot flashes and times of sadness (crying). I knew I needed help. I knew I needed to completely transition. I am surprised how fast (and easy) parts of myself and my life changed in the last year.

I found a great therapist who assured me I’m a female. She said I’ve been living as a trans-woman for all these years acting and dressing like a male. I’m my true self all the time except in front of my wife. My medical team supports me 100% as a woman. I got my ears pierced. I began HRT. I got my first mammogram. My top has filled out more. I've let my hair grow out. I'm learning makeup. When I go out alone I present as my true self. All of this has moved faster than I expected.

I am trying to be more outgoing as a trans-woman but my wife does not understand me (she hates that I need to wear a bra). I go out with friends to local transgender support groups and support PFLAG meetings. I try to zoom with other support groups.

In general, Missouri politics and St. Louis are not LGBTQI+ friendly but we have some good support organizations that help.

Kathy

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Posts: 169
Managing Ambassador
(@alexispw)
Estimable Member     Canada, Alberta, Edmonton
Joined: 3 years ago

Being old school transitioning 20 years ago the times have changed bit how we feel and see ourselves is the same .

When I first started to transition i knew what I was getting into the the scarifies which will have to be made  , it is pretty much what i excepted but it's balanced . It's finding that balance which I feel is important . Starting early life may have it's advantages but in other ways there is a lot of disadvantages as well  . Am i happy with my choice ? You bet I'm , wouldn't have it any other way . Am I still faced with the same challenges ? Yes I am with in society , does it really matter in the end , no it doesn't for I can choose who I want within my inner circle . The love for myself  is where it is at .

The community ,well that is really going to depend on your region . When I first started part of the program then was I had to go to these support meetings , well that didn't go over very well being shoved in a room full of gay man , We really didn't have support groups in the days and that hasn't changed either here at all . So within my area , no I'm not involved in it at all . We pretty much just keep to ourselves ad go about our daily lives .

I'm in volved with the community here which I love , reach out to others and sharing the support  with individuals from all over the globe is one of the greatest feelings one can have

Covid changed a lot of many of us ,sure did with me . I brought me out of a 13 year shame and guilt , hiding myself and in doing so ...lost who I was . I had to deal with very deep rooted inner pain , it was not a easy period in my life as those demons came to surface .Once I learned to let go and get back to my old self , I'm much more happier then I was ever before .

On the political front we have come along ways here Canada with our rights , but there is still discrimination against which is kept silent , hidden form the public in a sense . Just because we have rights doesn't mean the services have to be provided .But we are making head way as more and more places support us . We will always be faced with discrimination , it's how we choose to deal with it  and knowing when to pick your battles will us through .

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Posts: 41
(@polly123)
    United States of America, New York, new york
Joined: 8 months ago

I feel like my life has gotten better since I came out as transgender. In the past, I used to have anxiety and low self-esteem. I often feel inferior because I am different from other people. I was often laughed at. I also went through a long period of confusion and worry before I made up my mind. I'm afraid of the unknowns in life, and I'm afraid this is not the right choice. I have insomnia every night, which leads to my mental state is very bad.

But I'm lucky to have parents who love me very much. They support me unconditionally, just so that I can have a happy life. With their encouragement, I was brave enough to be myself. Now I live very happy. Like sunshine through dark clouds, I feel that my life is full of hope.

And now I have a wonderful love. I used to worry that I would not find a boyfriend, but now I find that these are not problems. My boyfriend and I met on a transgender dating app, and there are lots of trans people like me on the app. We can talk and hang out together. Now I have a boyfriend who loves me and a lot of good friends. Life is full of beauty.

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