Where does it all begin for us? There seems to be a common thread shared within our many experiences, and this is mine…
Way back in the 1960’s a small boy lived with three sisters and a brother. Things were quite hard back then without the modern frills we take for granted. Money was tight, and we lived a frugal life without any of the luxuries we have now. Just like the television, everything was black and white and quite drab. I remember watching television with the family and there was a wonderful show featuring singers, dancers, and comedians of the day. We loved watching it, and I would admire the glamorous dancers and the wonderful gowns that the females wore. I began to see that my sisters also wore brightly coloured dresses, and I began to see that they had brighter clothes than did I. My mother would make dresses for them, and she also made lovely clothes for a company at home.
As children there was lots of play and dress up. I would sometimes wear a dress and parade around. It was wonderful, and I was never chastised by my parents as it was all in fun. I know that at five years old I was dressed as a girl character for a fancy dress competition and won! It was fun, and I saw nothing wrong in it. At that time, I did not feel as if I was a girl.
This dressing continued, but then started to become covert as I would dress in secret. I began to wear feminine underwear. As I approached my teens, I was outgrowing my younger sisters’ clothes, but my older sister was about my size, and she was wearing the latest fashions. I would be in her wardrobe and wear her clothes. I also started wearing a bra. I was young and had fair skin. My hair was curly blond, which was quite long, as was the fashion at the time. Even as a boy, I was sometimes seen as being girly. I loved wearing female clothing, and the image that looked back at me from the mirror was definitely feminine and girly.
I had a couple of experiences where I would be dressed up for fun. One of those occasions was when I entered a beauty competition. My sister made me up, and I looked perfect. I won the competition and everyone who saw me thought I was a girl. At the event, I needed to go to the bathroom and naturally headed for the male one. A chap stopped me and told me it was the male bathroom and pointed to the female one. That was my first experience in the ladies!
By the time I reached puberty, the hormones kicked in and the dressing became infrequent but never went away. In all this I never saw myself as female nor was I gay or Bi. It just seemed it was something I did and enjoyed doing. Of course, back then there was no internet and dressing was seen as a taboo – unless you were drag queen – and that was lauded! I never felt confused about my identity, but I had this secret. I never knew where it would go. Does this sound familiar?
So what happened next? I will post soon the next stage…