Where does it all begin for us? There seems to be a common thread shared within our many experiences, and this is mine…
Way back in the 1960’s a small boy lived with three sisters and a brother. Things were quite hard back then without the modern frills we take for granted. Money was tight, and we lived a frugal life without any of the luxuries we have now. Just like the television, everything was black and white and quite drab. I remember watching television with the family and there was a wonderful show featuring singers, dancers, and comedians of the day. We loved watching it, and I would admire the glamorous dancers and the wonderful gowns that the females wore. I began to see that my sisters also wore brightly coloured dresses, and I began to see that they had brighter clothes than did I. My mother would make dresses for them, and she also made lovely clothes for a company at home.
As children there was lots of play and dress up. I would sometimes wear a dress and parade around. It was wonderful, and I was never chastised by my parents as it was all in fun. I know that at five years old I was dressed as a girl character for a fancy dress competition and won! It was fun, and I saw nothing wrong in it. At that time, I did not feel as if I was a girl.
This dressing continued, but then started to become covert as I would dress in secret. I began to wear feminine underwear. As I approached my teens, I was outgrowing my younger sisters’ clothes, but my older sister was about my size, and she was wearing the latest fashions. I would be in her wardrobe and wear her clothes. I also started wearing a bra. I was young and had fair skin. My hair was curly blond, which was quite long, as was the fashion at the time. Even as a boy, I was sometimes seen as being girly. I loved wearing female clothing, and the image that looked back at me from the mirror was definitely feminine and girly.
I had a couple of experiences where I would be dressed up for fun. One of those occasions was when I entered a beauty competition. My sister made me up, and I looked perfect. I won the competition and everyone who saw me thought I was a girl. At the event, I needed to go to the bathroom and naturally headed for the male one. A chap stopped me and told me it was the male bathroom and pointed to the female one. That was my first experience in the ladies!
By the time I reached puberty, the hormones kicked in and the dressing became infrequent but never went away. In all this I never saw myself as female nor was I gay or Bi. It just seemed it was something I did and enjoyed doing. Of course, back then there was no internet and dressing was seen as a taboo – unless you were drag queen – and that was lauded! I never felt confused about my identity, but I had this secret. I never knew where it would go. Does this sound familiar?
So what happened next? I will post soon the next stage…
More Articles by Angela Booth
- Out of the dark ages, (concluded)
- Out of the dark ages…continued
- Out of the dark ages. (Part one)
- Puberty and the dark ages
Angela Booth
Latest posts by Angela Booth (see all)
- Out of the dark ages, (concluded) - April 3, 2020
- Out of the dark ages…continued - March 17, 2020
- Out of the dark ages. (Part one) - March 4, 2020
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There’s an old family story told to me by my mother that I was wearing a girls bathing suit as a toddler because it was a hand me down which was all they had. In that photo, that child is smiling beautifully. No hint of discomfort or trauma… why would there be ? I was who I was. My mom relayed to me how she dearly wanted a beautiful little girl, and I’ve always suspected that my dressing in female clothes at a young age was not just coincidental. That a truth had been broached. I’ve gravitated to female clothing… Read more »
Thanks for sharing, Angela. Wow, to be entered into beauty pagents, as a girl, and actually win them… I am so Jealous! Sophie here was born a girly child almost completely deprived of feminine things, and isolated in other ways too: really scarily smart, lacking the social intelligence to understand just how different and threatening that could make me, and needing to wear thick glasses all through my childhood, which totally ruined my looks, and was another source of relentless teasing. I only had one older brother and nothing female round the house growing up (no girl toys or clothes).… Read more »
One older brother who joined the military by age 16, 2 older sisters, one in the military, one married to a Cop, 1 younger sister, an equal rebel to the status quo. Hand me down clothes from my sisters lit up my inner world regardless of the reason they were handed down because they fed that quiet secret part of me that loves presenting female. I don’t have the words, but suspect I don’t need them here, to describe the feeling of walking through the world dressed pretty, with confidence, poise and inner calm. I live in a world of… Read more »
Age 8. I heard my brother (8 years older) telling a cousin that if they had a spy camera (you know the kind you seen in the movies about the size a pack of gum) that at my age they could put me in a girls swimsuit with a swim cap on and send me into the girls locker room and have me take pictures. Well, shortly after that while I was home alone, I was going through some boxes my family had stored in my oversized closet and discovered a girl’s swimsuit and cap. I had to see if… Read more »
I only share part of that beginning. I was not dressed up by older sisters or family. But I sure took notice of what they wore, as well as female classmates in school. I was first attracted to girls’ tights, ever since I had my first accidental touch of my teacher’s leg! That was either 2nd or 3rd grade. I remember that incident like it just happened! I began admiring how the girls wore tights so often back then (the 60s and early 70s). Anyone who remembers the soap opera era commercials knows what I mean when it was a… Read more »
Angela,
What a great story … Thank you for sharing..I envy you that you have been accepted as Angela… It must be a great feeling……Leonara
Thank you Leonara. It has been a really strange journey for me. I will post various updates of my life and am open to questions.