First time I knew

I can recall the first time I began to realize that I was feminine. I was five-years old and fascinated by girls’ clothing and shoes. I loved how they looked and wanted to wear them. I would watch my mom do her nails and get ready.

My parents noticed it as well. I would come out of my younger brother’s room wearing his old clothing. (My younger brother is a post op FTM so I was wearing his girl clothes back then.) My parents were concerned for both of us.

I dressed as a girl for Halloween when I was 11. Even at such a young age, I was able express to them that I’m happy as male who loves feminine clothing and shoes. Then my younger brother came out to them about how unhappy he was as girl; they took it well. It worked out well for me as I ended up with his old girl clothing.

In coming out for me, I had zero regrets. It was finally age 13 that I went fulltime. Mom took me out to get my nails done, including getting my ears pierced. I loved it, and I can tell you it was a great feeling the first time I wore hoop earrings. That first time out as Adrianna, family members could tell, and told me so, that I looked much happier.

By the time I turned 13, I had begun to be treated like one of the girls. My parents wanted to do what was the right thing to do, and they did. Through my high school years, I was accepted very well by my friends. Living fulltime as Adrianna, I would go out with my female friends. They would pick out something for me to wear. They helped me big time in a pinch, too. They took me shopping with them, even picking out clothing as if they could read my mind and knew what I liked.

There were times when I was teased and picked on, called horrible names, but now my life now is great. I live as a fulltime CD with my supportive wife, Tara, who I married in January. She loves all of me. We met three years ago while shopping. She told me that I looked beautiful and wrote her phone number on a piece of paper, putting it in my purse. We do things together, such as getting our nails done and of course…we go shopping together…

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Adrianna Baine

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8 Comments
  1. Author
    Adrianna Baine 3 weeks ago

    My younger brother was very unhappy,he was on the estrogen blockers when I went fulltime.Did support each other and still do.I was there with mom for support when he had his srs in 1999.I remember him tearing up looking down there seeing the results.I teared up too hugging him

  2. Danielle Fox 3 weeks ago

    This is so beautiful that I need to cry…… I am so happy for you both and that your parents are so amazing and I wish all parents understood.

    • Author
      Adrianna Baine 3 weeks ago

      My brother is also happily married.His wife loves him for who he is

      • Danielle Fox 3 weeks ago

        Do you think you will ever transition even though you live full time as a woman? With not knowing the future myself if I were living full time as a woman I would need to seriously consider transitioning, but that is me.

        • Author
          Adrianna Baine 3 weeks ago

          No,very happy

          • Danielle Fox 3 weeks ago

            I do envy you because you are so resolute! Knowing your mind is half the battle knowing or reading others is the other half of the battle. It’s a pleasure to know someone who is happy being who they know themselves to be.

          • Cynthia S 2 weeks ago

            So true-I’m still figuring out my own mind but I DO know Cyn is the reason I am who I am and she will be at least a part if not the whole of me forever.
            Cyn

          • Danielle Fox 1 week ago

            Well and truly said Cyn! Our female self is who we are. The male facade is what we present to the world. The decision to change the facade to our real self is a huge choice some of us make. In the end we live with our choices in life and whether you chose to show the facade or the real you is ultimately your own choice not the doctors, not your SO, not even your family or friends. You are not alone making the decision and going through the transition but you will either be you and happier or not. If this were an easy choice we would all be walking around as female with no regrets. Alas an easy choice this is not and make it you may or may not. Follow your heart and live your dream, bring those of your family and friends who stay by your side and those who did not were not true to you and who you are becoming.
            A decision to transition can be a scary prospect and you should not be alone in this process. Rejoice in your decision to become you! If you do not rejoice for you who will?
            In the grand scheme of things in the world this is you time, more important than presidents, more important than the super bowl. More important than the Stanley cup or the Grey cup! This is your journey and yours alone but you travel with family, friends, and pen pals from here. Be safe, be kind, be smart, but most of all be yourself! Love ❤️ and hugs 🤗
            Danielle 💋👠👗🦋

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