good news causes are known! during gestation in the first six weeks the female introduces a hormone which determines the body aspect. a few weeks later the female does it again which determines the brain functioning. so its possible to have a female oriented brain and a male oriented body. in fact there are numerous combinations of the above. not to mention the reverse! m2f and f2m!
so wondering if you are trans is like wondering if you are human! i think that wondering thing is social. often i get the horrible feeling of male regret. i remember being taunted if i presented the least bit fem. i noticed my sister got to be a tomboy but if i was a sissy all sorts of retribution occured!
i often rebel at my trans status and dress male for a day or two. then i get that drab feeling and out comes the miniskirt! i don’t think i will ever part with my miniskirt! i love it! it is the first piece of fem clothing i got that has stayed with me pretty much the entireity of my fem presentation. its a very short black pleated cling mini with chains. yum! when i finally have to wash it i get my iron out and carefully iron the pleats all neat and presentable.
i have had all sorts of silly and expensive fem stuff. when i discovered 2nd hand stores i was in bliss! at first i was self conscious going in there but now i’m bold. i remember the first time i shopped across the aisle at pennys. so self conscious! i still have those silly but wonderful flare jeans. i put little stars in the cuffs and they are mine mine mine!
one of the first expensive still fem things i did was shop for shoes in iowa city. yikes! i bought some fantastic cork heel sandals. i took them home and thought i would never wear them. a decade later and i have repaired them a few times i wear them so much!
the first dress i bought sufferer ill fate. i never wore it in public. and it was expensive! oh well.
ya just never know when you are starting out. its like a roller coaster ride!
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