Hi hun, welcome to this little corner of the world.
A lot of what you just said sounds pretty damn similar to myself. Ive been there, done that. I too was at a breaking point in my life and something had to give. Then i found this place and it has confirmed a lot of things about myself that id been questioning for as long as i can remember.
If ever you wanna talk just message me hun, ok?
*pink hugs* Amelia