Reply To: Freedom or not


Hi Haile
<p style=”text-align: center;”>I can relate so much to your story. I am in the same position only I’m nearly 49. All my life, I’ve been desperately unhappy being forced to live the male life that my parents and society expected. It was bad enough hating sports and being seen as “clever” where I grew up so there’s no way I’d ever have been able to come out as trans.</p>
I am 4 years in, been living totally as a woman since Feb 2017 and honestly, it’s the best decision I could make. I’m no longer shouldering this burden, having to hide my true identity or wear male clothing. The difference coming out as Melanie has made is unbelievable: I am much more chatty, empathic, calmer and less anxious than I ever remember being. I can cry! Actually feel emotions instead of bottling them up. Strange to say, my senses of smell and taste are coming back. Weird and I can’t explain it. I lost both in 1994 after a horrific brain injury, having fits for 3 years and blackouts for 6 months.

My brain has rewired itself but remains female as it always has been. My life has changed for the better in so many ways, more than I can describe. I love looking at my wardrobe ( and floordrobe!) each morning and deciding what to wear. I usually go for a skirt and top combination with either tights or stockings.

At the time of writing, I’ve only knowingly lost one “friend” who couldn’t cope with me transitioning. My mum is still taking her sweet time deciding whether to accept her new daughter (the rest of my family have). I have a new circle of amazing, loving, supportive and just all-round brilliant friends, to whom I’m ” one of the girls”. It’s all I could ever ask for.

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