Sarah, unfortunately many people don’t ask questions because they are afraid to. They assume that anything they do will be offensive. While it can happen, that’s usually not the case. I think it is always helpful to do your homework first. That does a couple of things. It will likely keep you from asking questions that can be perceived to be very shallow and disrespectful. Further, the message to your partner is that you were willing to invest effort in beginning to educate yourself. Two wins in my book.
From my observation and experience, it isn’t that people find questions offensive per se; it’s that they find insensitive questions and questions driven by prejudice to be the problem…
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