As a woman i want to be desired by straight men. I want attention, and i want my body to be celebrated by them. But when i have to be in man mode it doesnt feel right to me. Im married with boys 14 and 16 so i have to be in man mode most of the time. I struggle most with my disphoria when i have to be a man for long periods of time. Whats worse is i have no time or space to express my femininity and sooth myself.
Be totally honest with yourself and dont be ashamed! Im sure you are a beautiful girl that just needs the confidence to express yourself.