Hi. I posted the thread about how to drop hints. And the one just now about how/when to come out.
You sound like you are in the exact same place as I am with a wife and 3 kids. I haven’t been to therapy yet and when I do I feel like it will be just in order to confirm my feelings that I am woman vs. Me questioning. I have stood at the cliff looking down for so long that I know the water is warm.
I feel for you and it’s not easy…as the last thing you want to do is hurt your wife. I have done been looking at a lot of posts and recommendations from others including Dr. Z., a gender therapist, who has a blog and youtube channel. The thing that keeps coming back to me is that you can’t offer 100% of yourself to your loved ones unless you are 100% honest with you and them. Its a lot easier said than done.
My heart hurts for you and I wish you well.