Reply To: How/when to “come out”

Michelle Liefde

Hi Stephanie,

I think working with a therapist with trans experience is a good start.  I just recently told my therapist and found out that she has worked with other trans folks so scored a win.  As for coming out, only my therapist and my wife know.  And my wife was first.   We have been together for 20 years, married for over 14 of them and I told her about 3-4 years ago.  I don’t like holding secrets from her but this was something I buried deep inside and has been growing since coming out to myself about 5 years ago. I got very lucky that she is willing to be part of my discovery of what this all means.  I would say giving your partner time to think over something that you have been thinking over for a very long time can be key.  I would recommend reading She’s Not There by Jennifer Finney Boylan. I just finished it and found it very helpful.



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