Stacy Ann, I agree with you placing happiness in the hands of others is a bad idea, and I reread what I wrote last night and see that I was unclear about what was going on. Yet I think you kind of saw it but I will be clear just in case.
The problem (s) that did not allow me to get my normal four hours of sleep and making me feel depressed is, it has been five months since after coming out to this person and him saying no, no everything is fine this changes nothing and then ghosting. Then out of the blue getting the txt my brain yells at me that I should tell him off for being an ass, my heart says let it go after all he’s a good ol’ boy maybe he needed some time to deal with everything, and now he’s trying to find a way back. Round and round it goes in my head and I obsess over it and scrutinize everything and then before I know it I am in a hole that will require a lot of rope to get out of.
So this was more of an attempt at a distraction something to get me to quit thinking but thank you for calling me on it