We’re happy to you found us!
I don’t know how old you are, but consider all the years that have brought you to this point. It can be very difficult to undo that mass of conditioning and societal expectations and begin to be who we are. It is not the work of a minute. It may be helpful to begin working with a therapist. Many here have had great success in sorting out their lives through working with a therapist experienced in gender issues. That is the key because not everyone has that specialty and interest.
I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It helps other members get a better sense of who you are and how your journey is progressing. It is always accessible and can be updated at any time if something changes for you.
Also, if you would like to search for other members who may be nearby, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.