It is amazing how good the advice your receiving is, excellent advice. Please do seek out a transgender psychologist specialist. This will make a world of difference. I now have my primary-care physician, a transgender individual that is a medical therapy coordinator, a transgender aware psychologist, and a transgender Advocate. A few charge for their services, but 2 are part of the local woman’s health program. You will not know what support you have out there until you ask.
I initially went to my primary care provider and just broke down crying as I told him I wanted to be a girl. He took me seriously, something that didn’t happen 20 or 30 years ago. He is actively involved in my care and is the center of my therapy program. He referred me to the psychologist and the medical therapy coordinator. These two people made all the difference in my coming to grips with me as a woman.
The medical therapy coordinator works in the Woman’s Health Facility, and they have a dedicates Transgender Advocate that is now fighting for me to get Medicare and BCBS to cover my health care needs.
But: you are in a much earlier stage then that. Hopefully people you trust will help you walk through your life and help you see whom you were, whom you wanted to be, who you can be. A amazing amount of self-reflection needs to occur before you can step into a “confident” position of what needs to be done. I always wanted to be a girl; not once did I fantasize being a male. I had to walk through my life year after year to fully realize that being a girl was the one thread of my life that was always there.
Jordan; you are early in this thought process, so doing the needed thinking to end at a position of “I am sure!”. Anything less and you will find yourself looking back; and as you know from the bible (OK, maybe not know) you will turn to salt. I don’t actually think anyone turned to salt, but they did turn to a life of indecisiveness.
First: start with your parents were wrong to imply there was something wrong with you. Different then some other, yes…wrong…NO! I can’t emphasize this enough…You are not a “wrong”. You need to find out who you are, and “right” or “wrong” is not the answer. So get past “wrong”.
Second: Don’t be afraid to discover you are a girl, or you are a boy that lies girlie things, or you are many things across the range of possibilities. Don’t step into this process to legitimize becoming a girl. Try to find you; that person may be a girl. No matter what the discovery, discovering is never over.
Third: Find the courage to do these things honestly. Take the tasks seriously. As you feel comfortable share your journey with trusted friends. You will receive a lot of feed back, but you have the last word.
Forth: Take responsibility for your actions, thoughts, deeds, and decisions. The closest friend you have is the friend that is inside of you. Talk to that person. I did, and I cried a lot. None of us can undo yesterday, but we can make today a day we can follow.
Never stop questioning and allow conclusions to come to you.