I am not 100% sure how to tell the kids, I haven’t even told my wife yet that I am questioning and need therapy.
However, there should be enough published literature to support the fact that this isn’t a choice, but rather you taking steps to be a better parent for them. That to me means more than putting up an improper front. I can’t see why a Trans parent would love and support their child any less than a CIS parent. The two are mutually exclusive.
I know I feel that way in relation to my kids, I love them and want to be the best parent I can be, whatever that may be.