DeeAnn, Timmie and Lukcia
Thank you for your kind words during my meltdown. I know I am a crazy girl getting all that crap out of my head and on paper or a form helps me deal with it I know it sounds like the rant of someone who is about to go over the edge. If I don’t put it out there then I can’t get mad and fight and I have to fight. I have to be me. You gave me the courage to post my profile pic. That is the first photo of the real me ever. You gave me hope that someone out there other than my friends and family could give a damn about me. And thanks to this place I have been able to make it to my deck in the morning to have my coffee and watch the sun come up as me.
I am setting goals for myself every day some are small some are big but I have to start someplace to get out from hiding I just can not anymore. Saturday in Firehouse subs was the last day I will deny who I am. I needed apples today for a pie so I made myself put on my eyeliner and went to Walmart and did not let myself wear my sunglasses into the store. I did it alone because my wife was at work and I really wanted to have an apple pie for her when she gets home. I was so afraid but I kept hearing you three telling me I could do it along with Tim Curry singing Sweet Transvestite. I went in and bought my apples and left when I got back in my car I cried and realized just running in to buy a bushel of apples took me 45 minutes. I am still so freaking scared but I did a little something and that is better than nothing right? I am still trying to find a shrink to help me but really ladies thank you ever so much.
Peace, love, and hugs
P.S. Ms.DeeAnn I want your lipstick