Reply To: Maintaining Trust in a Partnership


Hi everyone, I’m Jo. Born and raised as a boy. I just turned 31. I’ve identified as genderfluid for the last 5 years but in the last couple months I’ve realized I’m a transwoman. I’ve been moving further away from masculine pronouns and clothes.

I’ve put my partner in a difficult position; she isn’t sure how to cope with this news exactly. She doesn’t think she can be with a woman. She is attracted to masculine features– and I feel like I didn’t fully grasp how much she preferred masc to femme. I’ve dolled up a number of times, and she has been very supportive of my fluidity. But when I said I think I’m actually a girl, she has been freaking out a bit.

She says that I’m not keeping her updated enough on what I’m thinking; but also she doesn’t feel like she can give me validation on my makeup, or give me a “girls sleepover” right now.

She is mourning the man (genderfluid as he was) that she fell in love with. I feel like I’ve shattered her trust in trying to be true. It has been a very hard 2 months. I’m struggling.

My heart breaks for you dear!!

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