Reply To: Shame a simple word but very powerful

#102966

Thank you Stephanie  my whole life I was full of shame and guilt and I think the guilt was from doing what I wanted to do like dress up and keeping it a secret .  Soon after the shame came in. My mother would get super mad at me and never let my father know . He did know I am sure when I was real young he saw things like playing with my sisters toys  and things like that. He had names for me like little queer man and a few other ones. I was trained to grow up and be a man . I always thought I had a mental problem and kept it to myself . My mental problem wasn’t that I wanted to look pretty it was the shame and guilt I thought it was because I wanted to be a pretty woman .  I always thought that I was doing something wrong  if any one ever found out.  Today the world is a little more open about things like the word Transgender . When I was going though my childhood right up to fifty years old I thought I was the only person dealing with this .  Being all alone full of fair anxiety shame and guilt. Today I am trying to feel good about who I am I even get proud of who I am sometimes and I go to as many trans event as I can because it means something to me and no one should ever be forced to be some one else . Just let me be Mom & dad I am not hurting anyone right. Any ways when it comes  to buying woman’s clothes yes I was full of shame but it is getting a lot better  thanks again Bobbi

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