Reply To: As my name suggests I am unsure

#109812

Hi Kitty Kat

I would say Listen to your heart and feelings. I knew aged 5 that something wasn’t right, that I didn’t fit with the gender I was born in and didn’t want to accept the behaviours that were expected of me as “male”. At that age, I didn’t have the words to articulate how I felt but I knew I wanted to wear girl’s clothing, skirts and tights. I had no alternative but to put on my mum’s underwear and dresses. It made me feel good about myself, a comfort when I was upset (which was nearly all the time). My parents were apalled and I was punished for showing any kind of feminine behaviour.

I felt forced to hide these feelings but they kept getting stronger; denying them came at a huge cost to my mental health until, in 2017, I just couldn’t keep them in anymore. I had hit rock bottom and couldn’t look after myself. Whilst recovering, I re-evaluated my life and decided to live the rest of my life how I wanted to, not to please others or how society expected. Transitioning was the best decision I could have made. My stress and anxiety levels are far lower now. I can dress how I want, in lingerie, stockings or tights, skirts and blouses. It all feels So Right. Like i’ve come home. Most people accept me as female, only my mum doesn’t.  I have made some wonderful friends, all girls together.

 

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