Reply To: Abuse and Narcissism

#109911

Amelia,

Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome is a weird animal, and it is on a spectrum.  My wife is always telling me that I put in too much salt, my hat is not where it belongs, my office is a mess, I never finish my projects, etc. etc.  She is never wrong, and she always has the final word.  This is a softer kinder, yet still a pathology of the Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.

Oddly enough my wife’s biggest complaint and most consistent complaint is that I don’t do what she says!!  We both never hit each other, and we have only had maybe 5 or 6 screaming style arguments in 33 years.  I mostly give into her because the majority of the things important to her are of little importance to me; kind of a “What-ever” approach.

Oddly enough again: I have always liked myself.  I always knew I was really a girl, and I really liked that part of me.  I always had solid self-esteem.  As a boy that was really a girl, and as a young man that was really a woman; I was very internalized, very contemplative, and I came to believe in me & who I was.

So, you want to be free of a relationship the is fraught with Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome.  You need to rediscover yourself, go inside and talk to yourself long and hard, find the things you love about you, slowly build confidence in your opinion of first yourself and then of everything.  Self-esteem is what a  Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome relationship takes away from you: get it back Girl!!

Get out of the relationship, and be-damned the consequences.  Heal thy heart & soul.

So easy to say, so hard to do.  Seek support.

Love

Lukcia

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