I have built into my life opportunities to exercise my self-esteem. I often go on a 1 to 2 week vacation without the wife, but with other people (usually strangers). I charter one cabin on a sailboat with 4 or 5 people I don’t know. Sometimes we hit it off, and some times we don’t. I hire a guide to fly fish for a day. I secretly (wife don’t know) go out as a woman to a local bar for lunch and a beer.
All these things allow me to be me without the cloud-of-wife-expectations. Little tools so that I can stay in-touch with myself while with others. Recently I went to Italy for 3 months of culinary training. The company Framebridge has a LGBT wall of photos, and I submitted one of me.
This time made a huge difference to me as the woman Lukcia
Not everyone can go away for 3 months, but it will always be important to find yourself both internally and externally with others.