I’m not sure why I’m not getting invites because of my transitioning or my divorcee, it just feels like since I been out full time for 9 Mo. that people understand this for real, he’s not coming back, I have to say it hurts every party, birthday, holiday and wedding my wife and kids get invites but not me, no apologies or phone calls nothing. I can just say I that I have spent a lot of time crying and understanding, People tell me how happy they are for and tell me how brave I am to be my true self, but I guess I not good enough to hang out with. So any suggestion how fix these problems?
I feel your pain and the same thing bothered me a lot until the shrinks got my head straight, but no longer. If they don’t want to include you in their lives then, bluntly, they aren’t your friends. In all likelihood they never really were. I now realise that many of my friends did the minimum they could in order to take advantage in some way from running them around to helping them when needed. At some point there will be a moment when this is confirmed to you, I didn’t believe it either until it happened;
A long standing friend was about to celebrate his 25th wedding anniversary with a woman who I’d introduced him to and even set up their blind date for. Natasha had been out for about 6 months and he’d said ‘you are invited to the bash and are welcome however you arrive.’ He lied. No invite, nothing, but I’d prepared an alternative just in case. Which was brilliant.
Heard nothing for months then we bumped into each other socially and you could cut the atmosphere with a knife. I made my excuses to the host and went to pass this guy to retrieve my coat. He says ‘Oh Hi deadname I was just thinking about you the other day.’ I just looked at him and said ‘Why? Did you need me to do something for you for free again?’ Brushed past and exit stage left. Right then everything was alright again. Karma is a bitch and sometimes acts through others. I had no idea where that comment came from and it’s totally out of character for me.
So yes Timmie, Lukcia and Autumn I have talked, it wasn’t easy but it certainly set me on the road out of the deep dark woods and I think that is about all it can do. We have to make the journey alone with or without people to assist you along the way.
Don’t let the darkness consume you. It will win in the end but that should be a very long way down the road.