Reply To: can a good father even exist?


I think the roles of mothers and fathers change over time and across cultures, but most men have a lot of traits in common that women don’t tend to share (or not to the same extent), and most women have a lot of traits in common that men don’t tend to share (or not to the same extent).

A lot of women feel a strong drive to get pregnant.  I really wanted to be pregnant and give birth.  I don’t think many men want to get pregnant (themselves).  They may want to “have children”, but what they tend to mean is that they want someone else to give birth to their child.

Mothering is often a different set of tools than fathering.  This is the result of differences between men and women.  Women are more emotional.  As anyone who has done HRT will attest, this is NOT all in their heads.  It is biological.

Men form strong attachments to their children, but not generally the same attachment as a mother does.  Maybe it is Brest feeding, or maybe it is just personality difference that result from gender roles or biological differences.  I don’t know.  I have seen fathers who were great at what is generally thought of as “mothering”.  And, I have seen mom’s that were very much in the traditional role of “father”, but we define the terms based on what is the norm, not the outliers.

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