Glad that you found your way here! It is a good community and many members have been where you are now, so it isn’t something that is foreign to us. We put a lot of effort into making this a safe space for trans people, their significant others and people who are genuinely interested in supporting the trans people in their lives.
Know that it can be difficult to sort out gender issues and such on our own. Our minds work to protect us from change in our lives as it is stressful and creates anxiety. Many here have found that working with a therapist helps a lot. They will help you keep focused on the things that you need to think about and work to prevent unproductive mental excursions into nevernever land. However one important point is to work with a therapist who is experienced in gender issues as everyone does not have this as a specialty.
So, a few things to know…
You mentioned that as a little boy you played with dolls. When you said “boy”, that means that you were Assigned Male At Birth (sometimes abbreviated as AMAB). That said, in the transgender context, you would be considered to be a transgender woman (M to F). If you were Assigned Female At Birth and were a transgender person, you would be a transgender male (F to M).
The term transgenderED has fallen from usage, even though you may still find it in dictionaries. Dictionaries always follow usage and not the other way around, so it takes a while for changes to show up in print. The implication is that something happened to make one transgender, but that is not the case. Our gender identity and sexual orientation are just a part of us and has been so from Day 1. It is not added on. The reality is that we get to a point where we discover how things really sit for us. It is a realization. Further, if being transgender or gay was something that happened to us, then conversion therapy would work. If it happened, it could reversed. But what we know is that the opposite is true. Conversion therapy does not work. Also, we don’t say gayED or lesbianED.
I encourage you to complete your Profile page. It helps other members understand your situation and where you are heading. It is always readily available and can be updated at any point if something changes.
If you would like to search for other members who are nearby, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.