Reply To: Life outside of the closet?


hi Racheal, Yes, Alabama and West Virginia have a lot of things in common. I have spent time in Alabama and like West Virginia, the prevailing mindset is “preserve tradition”. Since there is a lot of good things in both Alabamian and West Virginian traditional life, there is good in that mindset. But it certainly creates an intimidating background for a transwoman to walk down the road. Yet surprisingly, my outings dressed were primarily in West Virginia with some additional time spent in Western Maryland and a very little bit in South West Pennsylvania. For me, the biggest obstacle is the people who know me as the male identity I I presented to them. It was assigned to me at birth based upon my genitals, and keeping with tradition, I have maintained it throughout my life. But once I am beyond 40 miles from my hometown, I am thrilled to get a chance to lay down my masculinity, which feels like a heavy suit of armor that is always taking blows in the constant struggle for control that is called manhood. It’s not because I have “failed in battle” that causes me to embrace femininity. Rather, it is because I have experienced victory in the battle called manhood and found that victory brings you respect, but respect is a lot different than love. Also, the victor in masculinity finds every young buck carries in the back of their mind that conquest over you would instantly shoot them up the ranks of respect. So the old victor, respected but unloved, is a coveted victory  by whom the whole masculine world seeks conquest. With no more appetite for victory, I still feel a responsibility to defend the male persona who I wore into battle and earned it respect through victory. My loyalty to my male persona is not because it was victorious, but because I made it virtuous. I’ve lived as a male who expresses compassion and kindness, a male who says it is a crime to persecute people just because they don’t live life like you. I fear that if I were to extinguish my male persona permanently all my victories for liberty would be nullified. My enemies would say that it was evidence that I was a fraud and every word I spoke was under false pretences.

Meanwhile, the great battle before me, the one that requires real courage and bravery,  the one that I must confess that I fear to fight…it is the battle to express femininity, the struggle to reflect beauty back unto the world. Having carried the burden of manhood throughout life, I have compassion towards all men who feel unloved. Just as sure as I know that every stray dog could have potentially been a good family pet if it was cared for and raised by a loving household, I also know that every man has an innate goodness. Yet like a stray dogs, unloved men who dwell alone are seen as threats. Yes it is true that men’s pent up sexual wants compels him to take action to seek to quench the  flames of desire, but that does not make him a criminal. I usually dwell alone, I have sexual wants, I have compassion for men in the same situation….I also have knowledge of femininity (to which I continue to add) and I have learned how to express that knowledge through feminine acts. When these feminine acts and presentations garner the attention of men, unloved and alone like stray dogs, I stand on a new battlefield which I can only arrive at by shedding the armor of masculinity. Here on this battlefield as a fully feminine being, I am not passible as a woman. It is outside of tradition when unloved men feel love and have their sexual desires quenched by me.  But hopefully tradition can realize what is it’s real threat. Is it transwomen (by all ascribed titles; shemale, tranny, crossdresser, sissy faggot) who express beauty onto the world through femininity?  or is it because so many people now dwell alone and feel unloved? The answer seems simple to me, therefore I honor the courage of all the people who were assigned the gender of male but went on to present themselves feminine publicly. The more the public sees it and gets used to it, its not a matter of passing, it’s a matter of being accepted. Every trip outside the closet is a victory for all. So from me to all who go out, THANKS BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!

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