One of the things that I believe is that often things happen when we are ready for them and not before. It seems that you are now ready to begin to understand and deal with this long suppressed part of you. Rest assured that crying is not a bad thing. It is one of the ways in which we relieve ourselves of distress.
Our discovery of our gender identity is a realization on our part. That identity has always been a part of us, but it requires that we come to the realization. Coming to that realization is a bit different for all of us. For me, the realization spanned several years, but the response was fairly quick. But, the process can play out in many different ways.
As you have discovered, the journey begins when we admit to ourselves who we really are. There is no way around that and no shortcuts.
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