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That is a risk we all take on whether our family will be accepting of us . I try to put myself in the other set of shoes and look at the situation with their perspective and weight my options form there . You are going to know your wife better then anyone else and when it comes to things if it’s not a gift such as a gift for christmas dropping hints will leave suspicion and that can be taken in a negative way . Like you have something to hide and this will devalve the trust within the relationship . Or it could be a positive one . Once you have a set plan and you have spoken with her see if she will be willing to go to therapy with you as well . She will have a better understanding what you are going through and it will give her support as well .
It’s a lot of info at once for our brains to process . It will take time , but the more you talk about it and open up it does get easier .
Alexis