Thank you for sharing – I’m glad to hear that you’re finding ways to become more comfortable in your body.
I am a parent of a pre-teen boy who is starting to ask questions surrounding gender. He continues to identify as male, but is wondering what that means and if he is really a female. We have always had a close, open, communicative relationship and I am so happy that he trusts me enough to talk to me about the things he is thinking and feeling. But I just don’t have all the answers for him on this topic! I’ve told him that he is accepted and beautiful no matter who he is, but beyond that, I am not equipped right now to answer some of the questions he has.
I joined this forum to ask those questions and take some of the answers back to my son so that he can figure things out more easily.
Vanessa, I hear you talking about fashion choices (clothing, hair) as core to the reason you are finding comfort in transitioning. One of the things my son has asked me recently is, “What are boy clothes and what are girl clothes?” Obviously he knows how clothing is gendered on the racks at Macy’s or Target, etc. but he wants to know if those places have it “right.” My instinct was to tell him that those are false social constructs, that “boys clothes” and “girls clothes” are not real. He likes to wear yoga pants, pink colors, and also dislikes his newly growing body hair. I’ve always taught him that’s fine, there are no rules for boys. But now he is wondering if that means he is really female.
How did you arrive at the point in your journey where you realized that the clothing or fashion you felt comfortable in indicated your gender?