Great to meet you.
Yes, I am right at the beginning of learning to count the cost. The path forward is dim and vague and full of things I have not even thought about yet. It is one thing to research and read other peoples’ stories and then find that you could never guess what other people’s reactions would be. With some people you have an idea. Then there are others who initially have positive reactions and then an example of reality presents and they have a change of heart and then you are back at the beginning working with a whole new set of constraints and feelings. It is going rough at the moment in that area.
I must say that I am learning to be honest and more direct – still a very long way to go. I have always tried to spare people’s feelings and this is good and bad. I wrestle with myself asking myself living as my true self is this right for me. (There is a great deal of internal transphobia)
I know so many of us have travelled this road, but it is a comfort to know wherever we are, we are not alone in this. We all have many of the same questions like, “Will transitioning really make me happy” I know happiness is fleeting and circumstantial. I guess what I mean to ask is would I have inner peace and joy finally? Will the noise and distraction in my head finally go away or lessen to a degree that I can hear myself think.
I am trying to start accepting myself and learning to grow.
How have you dealt with the making peace with the cost of living as you were meant to be?