Reply To: My Secrets

Tonya G

It’s probably safe to assume most of the transgender community has dealt with the feeling of being possessed. Doing things to ourselves that we had no control of. In retrospect it’s hard to believe I never seriously harmed myself with some of the things I did . Wondering if I was being punished for something I did in a past life or someone’s version of a sick joke. A big mistake. Sound familiar? Here’s something that I will always wonder if was a weird coincidence or attempted suicide.

I had to get shoulder surgery 12 years ago. When they administered the anesthetic I said to myself “this is my ticket out of here “. When I awoke the doctor was looking down at me. I asked how it went. Obviously a little shaken the doctor said “it didn’t “ . Apparently when they gave me the drug I had a seizure and my heart stopped. I looked down and saw hand prints on my chest from compressions and all sorts of devices attached to me. After a week in cardiac ICU I became the owner of  an ICD/ pacemaker. Just so happens the battery just ran out so Monday I am getting a procedure to get it replaced.
Lucky  me . November 1st I am going for my bottom surgery. Because I have this device my surgeon insisted I get a complete cardiac work up or they won’t do the surgery. Repercussions suck.


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