Hi, Hillary. Thank you so much for what you shared. I can relate to what you’ve written. I’ve spent most of my life avoiding looking at myself. I still don’t look at my face any more than I have to, but I am looking at what I’m wearing when I become Autumn. A LOT. Every time I use the bathroom I end up admiring what I’m wearing. It makes me feel good about myself, this is really the only time in my life that I’ve actually taken an interest in clothing. I have this tight pink top that I’ve fallen in love with. Every time I put it on…it just feels right. I am now always wearing a bra and breast forms when I’m at home. My toenails are always painted, legs shaved, and I LOVE wearing leg warmers, I seem to prefer a more 80s kind of style. Don’t know why, it just seems more like me…or Autumn I guess I should say. I wear lipstick, and I watch myself in the mirror as I apply it, but right now lipstick is more about how it feels than looks. I just like feeling it on my lips, I don’t have to look at it. Does that make sense? The feeling of something more than appearance? The feeling of what I’m wearing, too, that’s also become something I love. Looking down at my pink toenails right now and feeling very happy.
Anyway, thanks for sharing your story. Hugs.