Reply To: Deciding whether to transition without being passable


I am not sure that I should comment in this post. I am 5’8″ and have dropped my weight to 170. I have no curves now and my face is that thin old man face (I am 66). However I can see me in the mirror when I put on only my lipstick. I have no doubt that with practice and growing self confidence that I could pass as the woman that I know myself to be. Albeit at my age I understand that presenting age appropriately means sporting more of the grandmotherly image. And I am OK with that. In fact it excites me.

Why then am I posting here on a question about transitioning and being passable? Because I question transitioning and fitting in socially. I am a very active church member in a very conservative church. I seriously doubt there would be any acceptance into any of the lady’s groups or ministries for me. Socially I would lose everything that I have built my male life around. So I grit my teeth and resist transitioning, growing older and more grandmotherly every day, while finding resistance waning.

Obviously transitioning to ones authentic self is a seismatic life impacting decision. Whether it is physical size or social / familial relationships, something will be there to overcome in your journey.

Strong confident women overcome, be they cis or trans. And I suspect strong and confident don’t just happen. Such character develops in the journey.

Keep journeying. In the future you will know what’s right and therefore possible for you, even if passable is not.



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