This right here is the crux of my issue: “Those ladies I have spoken to all have told me that you are ready to transition when you come to the point in your heart where you would rather die then continue as a male.”
I long to live more (if not all) of my life as a woman. But, would I rather die? No. I don’t think so. I’ve got too much else to live for. But that doesn’t mean I’m not uncomfortable on an almost daily basis. Would I be happier if was living my truth? Absolutely! But suicidal? No.
Now, I will say that this might be a good litmus test for taking the major step of surgically altering your body in a way that be difficult (if not impossible? I never really looked into it…) to reverse. In other words, if you are going to commit to that level, then yeah, it better because it’s going to literally save your life. But, does being trans mean you need to go this far? If choose to present as female, without surgical alteration, does that still make me “trans?”
Where I struggle is making the choice to live and present as a woman, and how that affects my relationships with those closest to me – wife, children, etc. I guess because I’m the sort of person who always puts the happiness of others before mine, and I don’t want to rock their world. So, if I’m going to do this, I just want to be really, really sure.
There’s little doubt in my mind that if I removed the needs of others from the equation, this is the path I would choose. But again, would I rather die? No.
I guess the most telling statement is the idea that cis-people don’t have these thoughts, and I believe that to be true. You likely wouldn’t spend your whole life questioning your gender identify if there wasn’t a good reason for it!
Random observation: Being “trans” is a spectrum, but being”cis” is not. Thoughts?