Reply To: I don’t care about ‘passing’ anymore!!!


I guess my thoughts are on this are more from a trans friend.  She is older and is six foot three with really broad shoulders and thinning hair.  She doesn’t wear a wig. She grew out her hair and has a really nice feminine hairstyle.  You look at her and you just know she is not a “cis woman”.  She even acknowledges it herself and she simply doesn’t care what other people think.  She is happy with how she looks and acts and presents herself to the world.  It is what has and does work for her.  Sure she gets all the usual comments that we all hear.  She just shrugs and goes on her way.  How she feels internally she has never shared with me, nor have I asked.

As I begin my transformation journey, I was at first very concerned with the term “passing”.  I have started going out fully dressed.  The more I go out in public I am finding that I am becoming more comfortable.  Not in close-up spaces yet.  I am still concerned with the “passing the eye test”.  Will I ever get there? I don’t know.  Out walking through my apartment complex and walking through the neighborhood in which I live, I am beginning to be comfortable being the woman I am.  I have been up close to people as I pass them and they have looked at me and kept on walking by.  If they have noticed anything, they have not made any comment to me.  I know one day that will change.  How I will react, I don’t know.  I will figure it out when I get there.

So I say you have to do what makes you feel validated and feel comfortable with.  That is all that really matters in the end.  I too agree the term passing is a pretty broad general term. what you consider passing another may not.

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