There’s an old family story relayed to me by my mother that I was wearing a girls bathing suit as a toddler because it was a hand me down which was all they had and could afford. In that photo, that child is smiling beautifully. No hint of discomfort or trauma… why would there be ? That little girl was who she was. My mom relayed to me how she dearly wanted a beautiful little girl, and I’ve always suspected that my dressing in female clothes at a young age was not just coincidental. That a truth had been broached. I’ve gravitated to female clothing, and felt myself to be female as long as I can remember. It has always brought a sense of release and calm, and the acknowledgement of the discomfort of the skin I was in.
Honestly… I wish I could ask her but she passed away years ago. Knowing that she dearly wanted a daughter I think she would have been thrilled at the prospect of having a daughter. Makes me wish sometimes I came to terms with my trans self years ago so I could have given myself – and her- that gift so much sooner.
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