Good to have you here and I hope that it will be a good experience for you!
One thing that strikes me is that you have various issues going on at the same time and perhaps there is some interaction between them. Assuming that to be the case, it can be very difficult to sort through them. Many members have found that working with a therapist is very helpful. It is hard for Us to be objective about Us. As a therapist is an objective observer, they can see things in us that we cannot see. Anyway, I don’t know what is available in your area, but often LGBT centers have helpful resources for trans people. If they do, sometimes the services are offered on a sliding scale basis that is more appropriate to ones income.
I understand what you said about the art of doing makeup. My wife has essentially no interest in this, so I have learned by a couple of sessions with an independent, semi-retired professional as well as a few sessions with MAC Cosmetics professionals. It isn’t difficult to learn, but there are many ways to go wrong, and if something does go wrong, how do you correct it? If you seek professional services, maybe the way to go about it is to dress in a fairly androgynous way and with no makeup. That way you won’t look really out of place in guy or girl mode. I don’t know how it works in the UK, but makeup stores here have some expectation of the purchase of X amount of products in return for the “free” makeover. Also, if you do go to a place for makeup services, many here have had discussions with the artists concerning what are the slow days and what would be a good time of day in terms of minimal activity. It helps to tell them that you are a trans person. If anyone has a problem with that, you can cross them off your list.
There is a UK magazine, web site and online forum called TransLiving. I am a subscriber and a few years back they published an article that I wrote. Check them out as there’s lots of information on their pages and online presence.
If you would like to search for other members in your area, click on Social in the menu and then Member Directory.
I encourage you to complete your Profile page. Threads come and go and all eventually sink to the bottom after they run their course, but your Profile page will always be readily available and can be updated at any time…